Heals The Original Dryness: 01/01/2002 - 02/01/2002
Heals The Original Dryness
i am no longer a faerie
it was not vanity that drew her to the mirror; it was the amazement at seeing her own "I." -the unbearable lightness of being
1.31.2002
i've ripped out half my eyebrows. ok, most of my eyebrows. i'm sexually frustrated and i don't know why, maybe i'm just wanting it all to be blamable on sex, even if its not. i've been clenching my teeth all afternoon. we had to touch on sad memories for acting class. i touched, but did not release. i'm releasing in bad ways and i'm afraid what i might do next. ok, now i go cry. that should help.
so elliot, shall i take it this "jared" and "joe" that are on my high score list came from you, or were they random test taker people? i'm just curious. thanks for the link! makes me feel giddy and special too :)
i crashed over at porter last night. i could really get used to that. it's so much fun over there. warmer, better food, closer people, happy people. well, yes, there are happy people here but i'm refering to my niche of happy people over there who drap on bean bag chairs and watch movies in large groups and go to late night and eat crappy food and then skip back singing wizard of oz. YOU CAN'T DO THAT AT OTHER PLACES MAN!
ah yes, and improv.
dale: ok, worlds worst title for a porn film!
me: *steps forward, mimes taking a video from a shelf, looks at title* come on aileen?
ooo! elliot took my quiz! thats really cool! okee, he goes on my links now :) everyone say HI ELLIOT! he's cool. he's jewish too if i remember correctly :)
yes, i too now have a friendtest. i don't know why i typed my name as neeliabuxx, probably some subconcious desire to be a porn star. *shrug*
take if you like, not my best work, i really wish i could remember the site jonathan made his personal quiz on. benn also says he can write a perl script for one so it works all spiffy and stuff :). and i wrote the quiz thing really late at night so if it seems random, it's cause it is. i'd get ideas for questions and then lose them and then get them again later and stuff like that. *sigh* insert witty comment here. must go do work.
*aileen takes her sister's quiz. hangs head in shame*
oh come on, how am i supposed to remember how old you were when you learned to ride a bike when i had such a traumatizing experience with bike riding myself. i wasn't exactly paying attention to other people in that subject. this is what we call repression. i knew your blanket and what mom was thinking of naming you (i thought it was actually steve not steven). the rest... it's just not information that i keep stored in the front of my mind, and i don't live with you anymore! *sigh*
NeeliaBuzz: pst
Shurakaina: what?
NeeliaBuzz: i love you!
Shurakaina: oooo
(he comes over and we make out for a bit :D)
NeeliaBuzz: lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots
Shurakaina: lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots
NeeliaBuzz: and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots
Shurakaina: x10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
NeeliaBuzz: +1
NeeliaBuzz: or 2
NeeliaBuzz: ;-)
Shurakaina: LOL!!!
there was a sunset this evening. it was wonderful. it was so exactly what i needed. it's kinda like mother nature saying "i know, it's been a long day, but here's a sunset. doesn't that make things a bit better?" and here in santa cruz you can really stop and take a moment to breath the air and admire it all and just STAND there not really doing anything or caring who's around or what you have to do for that little moment of time while you're watching the colors in the clouds change in color and intesity, and just standing and watching the brightness fade. and being able to say "yeah, that did make things look a little bit better. wow." and then go back to things a little calmer and a little happier.
i always felt really depressed the mornings we'd be driving to the trian station, or be on the train when the sun was coming up. not only did it make me feel like shit that i was having to get up before the natural day started, but just looking out over the valley to all the cars that were already being diven, and business rush, and the getting all the computers and office buildings and businesses revved up for the day, and here was this sunrise, doing it's best to be a very pretty and admirable sunrise, and everyone was too busy doing other things to just stop and just appricitate it for a bit. i really wanted to get up and yell at everyone in the city. it's like being at a show with a mainstage performance going on and no one watching it. it's just like HEY! PEOPLE! THERE'S A SUNRISE GOING ON HERE! ANCIENT MAYAN'S USED TO GIVE THEIR BLOOD FOR THIS TO OCCUR EACH DAY! ...but they'd probably just ignore me and the sunrise would go on like one of those flight attendents doing the pretake-off ruitine while everyone esle was already taxi-ing into flight.
*sigh* me in my "society's got it all wrong" sort of theorys. i'm a real menace like that.
*more notes on blogs*
ingrid, if you really really don't like your hair, i think you should go to spikeys or happy floffy, i dunno, give me a call (or benn a call, thats also a good way to contact me :) and we'll have fun. i had short hair for years.
jeeyon
josie, final takers all, BREATHE... just remember in the grand scheme of things you are all very very bright girls (yes, you really are. go out to the midwest and you shall see) and you really shouldn't kill yourself over highschool. it'll be ok.
in other news, NEIL HAS TO BE AT HIS DAD'S TOMORROW!!! GAD DAMN IT!!! i had so many plans... :( and we're in such similar social tangles right now, it's just natural that we SHOULD be in the same vecinity, but no... *sigh*
and yes, theres more, but for now we shall just chuckle and say "oh what a tangled web we mortals weave..."
*laughs* now benn's written me an email (in quite in comprehensible jargon, partly cause it was late, and partly cause he's a nerd :-P but thats why we love him) explaining internet/world wide web. I DIDN'T KNOW THE EXACT TERMS! THATS WHY I WAS SO MUMBLY AND RAMBLY AND STUFF LIKE THAT! I HAVE MOMENTARY LAPSES OF VOCABULARY! LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! *goes and huddles in a fetal position in a corner away from all the evil people*
i have been really too damn hyper these last couple days. i have not gotten enough food and sleep to be this energized. stupid.. body..
Subj: Just Another Small Correction
Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002 2:17:30 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Jonathan To: neeliabuzz@aol.com
You said Tamar should have no access to the internet, only AIM. Actually, AIM is part of the internet. I believe you are thinking about the World Wide Web, which is, simply put, the pages and sites that we browse with netscape or internet explorer. The internet is, as a whole, anything that goes from your computer to another computer outside of your complex. So, instant messaging programs, while not part of the web, are an important part of the internet.
- Jonathan
yeah, THATS WHAT I MEANT you blehblehblhe blhbleh *insert insult and/or phrase as you wish. have fun with it! make it a game! i'm going to go get some food. brain doesn't like stomach empty*
PS. i'm wearing a sarong, flip flops, and a shirt that is too small for me. thats right folks, it's laundry day...
i just called neil and laughed into his answering machine. :D i know, i'm insane, it's just fun.
high school is such bullshit these days. i know i love castilleja but the whole system of it all is just fucked. we need to throw out the old system and figure out something that works better for everyone. pay the teachers more, start the classes later, relax the atmosphere, get involved with the community (more than just one day at certain school), have more art classes, you know stuff like that. benn's been having this kind of idea for a while, and just dicussing it with him and J this weekend just convinces me more and more. *sigh*
and don't even get me started on this society and SEX... yeah...
OH MY GOD, TAMAR, we are going to have to put you on internet probation so you will STOP TAKING QUIZES!! (aim is fine, just internet bad)
ingrid, josie, dahlings, look at the very bottom of the page. read some of the questions in the exam. then go here... just breifly, you don't have to stay there too long... then go back to the other one (far more interesting)
also josie, i do have a problem with the width of the page, and which sweater/jacket was ingrid wearing that i have?
linsay, i have no idea whats happening in your life these days, but thats ok, i still love you. :)
Subj: Yer blog
Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 5:52:01 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Jonathan To: neeliabuzz@aol.com
I, in a characteristically Jonathan move, would like to point out that actually a comma has nothing to do with the issue. To say "good food and sex" leaves the question of whether the sex is good or not open. From the point of view of someone merely observing it, that is. If we were to diagram the sentence, it would be fairly easy to show which one it was. If we established the clause as only "food and sex" then the adjective "good" would affect both, as it affects the entire clause. However, if we were to diagram the sentence with the clause as "good food and sex", we could subdiagram the subjects "good food" and "sex", therefore obviously it the adjective only applies to food.
Now, if one wanted to construct the sentence so that there was no ambiguity, one could either say "good food and good sex" or "sex and good food" depending on the meaning one wanted to convey.
- Jonathan, who has no blog and therefore has to be content with correcting people privately
aileen sits in front of her laptop, now back in santa cruz. she has her brush in one hand and a wad of hair in the other. she shall now attempt to brush her hair. mind you this is not an easy task. aileen has quite curly and frizzy hair to begin with, and for the last few days she had been bed ridden with a fever and has not had a hair tie. therefore ladies and gentlemen, she has sleeping with loose hair! she could very well be on her way to dreadlocks at this rate. lets not put it past her, she does live in santa cruz these days. she seems to be moving fairly slowly with this whole "hair brushing" concept... and she seems to be eyeballing the scissors to her right a lot...
and so, the sports commentators in my head, tim and tom, continue while i attempt... to brush my hair...
best... sex... ever... (well, maybe not best, but its up there :D)
btw, this post has NOTHING to do with the one below.
ah yes, and i am now 43% pure! yippee! *is proud of herself*
also, on the puritytest.com test i am 50.5% pure, while the average bisexual female is 54.36%.
i feel accomplished, i always wanted to be about half or less than haf pure :)
< end rearranging of blogs (for those of you that caught the randomness before hand) >
so, i had a 102 degree fever last night at 2 am. benn was suddenly very aware that my knee was hot, and my knees are never hot. he got the thermometer and some cold water bottles cause since the thermometer was in celcius and his calculator (on his new phone :) had no decimal point it seemed like i had a 106 degree fever. i was too exausted and sick to argue. anyway, we got me cooled off and now i my fever is down to 101. drinking fluids, popping advil, lounging around with benn, trying to stay immobile and not provike my headache. benn's in the shower. i'm blogging. might see whos online, or try to get more information on belize for my LALS midterm (which is like in two weeks. ugh) we'll see.
the advice nurse wasn't picking up. so i called my mom. i love my mom. i love having a doctor in the family. she said it sounded kinda virual. :( *takes some meds and goes to sleep*
*sigh* now that life is back to "normal" (whatever that word means), my body decides to fall apart :( i just need to check into a hospital for a few days. hospitals fix bodies, right? *wishes internal chemicals wouldn't be so pissy*
NeeliaBuzz: i think good food and sex are the two greatest bodily things
DaMadFiddler: yes...but if you're not careful, either one can make you sick, or even prove fatal.
NeeliaBuzz: see, this is why i said GOOD food and sex. good meaning safe and healthy and... good
DaMadFiddler: ...but you DIDN'T say good sex.
DaMadFiddler: :-P
NeeliaBuzz: but since there was no comma between the food and sex, that means the modifyer applies to both nouns!
DaMadFiddler: that very easily could have been attributed to sloppy grammar
NeeliaBuzz: *glare*
DaMadFiddler: [glares back]
DaMadFiddler: [STARING CONTEST]
NeeliaBuzz: i like my body, i do not enjoy abusing it with bad sex and food (no comma, distribute the modifier as needed)
NeeliaBuzz: lol
benn almost left me last night.
i should just leave it like that but it was not really that.
on one hand it was like a cullmination of stressesand doubts and differences and him feeling like he wasn't number one in my eyes and i wasn't paying enough attention to him, and the fact that i was talking to people online for half an hour trying to figure out what to do that night and not talking to him was jsut the last straw in how not working out things were.
on the other hand, it was a huge over reaction spawned by hunger and tiredness and general stress and bad communication. instead of sitting and festering he really could have just tapped me on the shoulder.
i'm just scattered and easily distracted and we're different people and we were very much on different wavelengths at that moment.
i couldn't let him leave. i didn't. we went back to my room. blew off some steam. went to dinner. things were better.
hopefully, it will never happen again.
today, yesterday... universes were opened...
universes seemed clear. some were.
we peered in seeing what could be... what was...
what we did not want... what we want...
we had to choose.
we had to kill.
we had to keep.
or else lose more than we could bare.
we looked. we peered... we felt.
and no matter which, what, we cried
NeeliaBuzz: daves friends were at practice today, and like ALL of them were in the improv troupe at their high school so they were total pro's
Neilsat: 1337 :-D
NeeliaBuzz: and i was totally hot tonight, once i got going, i was just unstoppable. i got so much positive feed back, it was great
NeeliaBuzz: :-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D
Neilsat: Isn't that such a wonderful feeling?
NeeliaBuzz: it was great!
Neilsat: I LOVE that part.
NeeliaBuzz: we were playing freeze and lee came up and he and i were facing dave kinda threateningly....
NeeliaBuzz: no! we were just pointing at him!
Neilsat: Wait. Three people in Freeze? Different rules variant?
NeeliaBuzz: well, somtimes someone walks in and adds a character that was refered to or somthign like that, and we just go with it
Neilsat: Aaaaah.
Neilsat: THAT was grand :-D
Neilsat: We had that once.
Neilsat: I played myself and an evil clone of myself, and there were two other people, and a wallet, and it kept adding and adding :-D
NeeliaBuzz: so wer'e pointing to him. lee says "that... is him.." (me)"him?" (lee)"yes... follow me" and we walked towards him, me:poser menacing...
Neilsat: *nododnodnonodndonodnod* COOL!
NeeliaBuzz: (lee to dave) "whats up... *leans forward* bitch" (dave)"who you callen bitch, BITCH" (lee turns to me)"use the gun" (i make a bouncing deal of getting it out of my back pocket and pointing it at dave, who fains fright, lee) ok, put it back (which i do)
Neilsat: :-D Grand :-D
Neilsat: Go to the Chatroom.
NeeliaBuzz: (lee) so... who's the bitch now...bitch
NeeliaBuzz: (dave, back to macho)lookin' at one... bitch... (lee) gun (i repeat the getting of gunn process. dave is more terrified, crumples to knees. lee) you a bitch yet?! you a bitch yet!? (dave, "sobing') i'm i bitch... i am...(lee) put the gun away (me, bouncing) so does that mean i'm not your bitch anymore??
Neilsat: *manic giggle* YAAAY!
NeeliaBuzz: then freeze was called but while we were rotating they were cracking up and said "that was a good line" "yeah, that was pretty clever"
NeeliaBuzz: moment of pride :-)
benn is supposed to be here about now... so we're waiting... and blogging in the meantime
as neil would say it, it was a good day to be aileen. well, there was a bit in the middle there that wasn't so good to be aileen because being me with regard to my relationships with people and free love with boundries and being communicative about it was getting... complicated... me with my wanting everything to be happy and work well and feeling that we may ACTUALLY be able to do that with good communciation, and him feeling like things will inevitably break down into a mass soap opera drama, and just general yuckiness. but then blake showed up and dragged us to dinner and that helped... i think... there was never really good clear communication. *shrug*
yay! benn is here! apparently 4 or 5 things randomly came up after he called and said he'd be here around 10, but alls well. eee!
you know, at other times that might be comforting but right now... o.O *wimper*
ljsd...fks...gck... *finds stick. beats off boys*
*sigh* i really never expected to be in the position... i don't even try... ok, i'm a little flirty, but thats just me being silly. i'm not looking for them and they fall in my lap! arg! and they're not supposed to! i'm the quiet dorky one who preys on those less preyed on! since when do they flock to me when i'm just being silly! and when i'm in a relationship! MRAWR!!! *steams. calms down. goes and meditates with pyrite stone* ...it's supposed to center your energy and bring your moods back to earth...
oh! and dave and i (my dave, not tomas) went to the shop with the shiny things, i.e. the crystal kalidescope, and got pretty things that have energy and stuff and they're really cool and really pretty. but, you know you're out of it WHEN: you buy this crystal with like total out of this world energy, and you can't remember the name of it. anyway, i was very disappointed that my "hippie" friend could not feel the energy, when two other porter people i know could totally feel it. i guess we're just the losers that buy into everything. but seriously, i've always felt that crystals and stones had a certain energy to them i just couldn't pin my finger on it. its kinda like when you take a sip of wine and you can taste that its complex but you don't know what the complexities are until you read the back of the bottle and then you see 'oh yeah, there is that hint of apple and floral essence to it!" its the same thing with crystals. once you know where its supposed to be guiding your energy you're able to feel it moving more, and its really really cool :-D. and stoned hippies that know this shit are fun and amusing. they were such archtypes, it was wonderful.
ok, this thing really confused me, partly because i had been listening to a conversation a while ago about a celebrity who died and i really couldn't remember who it was, and then i saw that and i was like "oh! it was james earl jones!" cause like there was a whole plaque and dedication thing that usually doesn't happen unless you're DEAD! or at least... thats how it works in my mind. anyway, it is actually dave tomas who is dead and the conversation was about how will the advertising commitee recover seeing how like the entire thing was revolving around dave tomas, founder of wendy's.
ok, now i'm really going to bed. sore throat. my voice was all deep and sexy and stuff, but it's starting to hurt now and thats not very shiny...
honesty is the best policy, yes? but.. but.. it would be so much easier if they didn't know about eachother! but they already do cause i'm so damn honest in reeeaaally not wanting to get involved in conflicts that could have been solved by simple communication. (aileen, your life is not a movie... as much as you would like it to be... it's not that simple.) see my conflict now is the inner choice conflict, but there shouldn't even be an inner choice conflict cause i LOVE things as they are, it's such an ideal situation, but my stupid! fucking! hormones! keep creeping up on me, and no, i don't do anything with them but i do mention they are there because i'm a communicative person like that *hangs head (just you wait, it will save the world someday)* and i'm really not sure if that builds up tension or no, because we have NO OTHER TENSION TO COMPARE IT TO! *sigh* my life is WAY too much like the unbearable lightness of being. i am so tomas. but if i really am tomas i shall eventually become tired with this lifestyle and seek another, one closer to the earth and less light (the lightness becomes unbearable, hence the name... :) but we just have to get through this whole complicated middle part. *sigh* damn muscle memory triggered hormones.
i really should sleep. my blogging at 2 am isn't always the clearest and most articulate of blogging...
earlier i felt like i was going to die. i don't think i will anymore. i really don't want to die right now, i'm just getting started. i would be so depressed if i died right now. hm.. i would go into like how i would rebel in the after life and totally walk amongst the living and freak people out and feel really bad that i was an entity that frightened people. but i don't really believe in life after death. i feel its the same as life before birth.
so despite going around with abdominal pain for most of the day and developing dizziness and a headache after improv, i'd say i've had a good day. wednesday is my day to go hang out with porter people for dinner and shtuff. this time i actually went and watched fight club with a few of them, less than we thought seeing how a lot of people seemed interested, but it was fun. ian really reminds me of neil, it's so weird. and new things keep coming up that i'm like "that is so neil" and it's really weird. he say "bah" and he kinda carries himself similarly, and they just have that happy positive energy glow... and they're cute... and they engage in online combat, and are sarcastic and give me a hard time over my exagerations (or at least ian does, i think neil makes too many himself to give me a hard time), and they're so much fun! eee! it makes me so happy to have a person like that around here! anyway, so that made my day, and it was happy. wednesdays are fun like that :)
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
there have been two times in my life that i have felt my stomach drop like that. just now when i lost hours of emotional blogging that i would pause and come back to because it was taking me a while to find the words to describe things, and the time that i snuck into jonathan's house, and it turned out his dad was home... oh geez..................................................... *vomits. wipes mouth.* ok what was i writing about
i haven;t done as much documentation blogging as i used to, partly because i get to spend continual time with benn so by the time it's over and i get to a computer there is much to write about.
had a random thought, then forgot it, then remembered it again. the carpet in aladin is actually really a central character. much stuff revolves around him and he's really smart and stuff and really doesn't get the credit he deserves. i bet i could do some simple re-editing thing and add just like one or two little scenes and we could totally show aladin from the carpet's perspective. it might actually turn out well too
anyway, then i tryed to be clever with how to organize my blog about this weekend, listing lessons learned. sex is the ultimate stress releif. don't beleive me? build up lots and lots of tension until you're on the brink of tears and then have someone rub your clit and watch the sobs breakthrough for issues you didn't fully realize were effecting you so deeply
*thud* it is one thing to be writing a long blog when you don't feel like it but you are forcing yourself to take advantage of your free time and avoiding work, it is entirely another matter to lose 3 hours of off and on blogging... *crys*
i'm really not sure if i'd want to talk to her, or even about her for that matter, but its very odd because i've been reading stanaslavski's the actor prepares for the last few days and every once in a while wondering if she's read it (which she either has and read it cover to cover in a day 3 years ago and still lives by every word of it, or she hasn't but she's been meaning to and can quote parts of it cause she's trained in the craft. *rolls eyes* bitterness? me? no, never, why would you think that?)
i really think that mr. capron should assign this book. he talks and trys to teach so many concepts that are in it, but it's so much clearer and more consise and organized in the book.
you know, i've been naked and singing songs to myself so often in these last few days that i think i should make a living out of it. exept singing the songs to no one in particular. which i guess i do anyway. *shrugs*
all the lonely people
where do they all come from...
folks roamed the earth like big swollen kegs
they had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs...
:( benn+tired and stressed=not good. its very upsetting to see. and i just want to make it better but i don't seem to be helping, and it's like communication stuff and holding it in and misunderstandings, or at least thats the kinda sorta sense i get, but things are so tense right now i don't want to confront it. and i think part of it's just exaustion and stress of some other things, but... yeah, i don't know :-/
grrrr. the not so happy joys of ordering stuff online. in all the furvur of ordering things a size larger just in case they're too small, i forgot that in reality i actually have small feet. i can probably give them to my little sister or something like that. also the leggings are a really odd design. i want to learn how to sow so i can take them in in places or something like that. hm... my friend down the hall might be able to help me with that some. she said she had a sowing machine coming her way at some point.
then theres also the possiblity of biting the bullet and paying the 7.50 for shipping and handling to get an exchange. *contemplates bullet...*
nothing like labeling a map of central america to make you realize how euro-centric atlas' are
obviously no one loves me. i had this away message up ("i'm working on a map of central america in the library (if it's open, i hope it is) and i'll be back in a while, but when i get back i'll only be able to talk for a bit cause i have class at 10 tomorrow, but if you love me you'll leave me a message") and no one IMed me. and like, people were on and stuff and didn't bother. hmph. i wrinkle my nose at you all :P
i am really damn hyper right now. combination improv and labeling like ALL the little tiny islands in the caribbean on my central america map. and there are all these little tiny gulfs and stuff. theres actually a Gulf of Mosquitos. and theres a Swan Island thats a US territory of sorts. i find these kinds of things really cool. i want to go to the swan island, or like learn any interesting history there or something like that
anyway, i love my wednesday schedual. i ahve nothing in the morning so i sleep, and then i have acting section at 4, then like 3 hours to kill between that and improv, so what do i do? i make a friend and go to porter for dinner. they are so fucking insane at porter, i love it. and all the fucking insane people that i meet fairly seperatly were all congregated together. and we danced on chairs and ate falic ice cream. it was wonderful
i need to go to sleep now. i'll rant about the .07 oz tube of 10% docosanol cream later.
oh the fuckable irony of it all. the week i'm seriously planning to get my ever so late senior portraits done, is the week i get a cold sore. and i knew it was coming i just forgot to take the extra doses in the afternoon! FUCK! new years resolution (i never make them but this seems like a worthy one): take zovirax at very very very first sign of tingling (you know you feel it aileen) and fucking follow up on the doses!. resolution number two: get myself a watch with an alarm of sorts (for a while in highschool i carried around a stop watch that had a clock and alarm function on it, i'll have to see if i can get me one of those again)
what did i ever do to my body to deserve this? *pouts*
it took me four hours of playing with my hair and a phone conversation with neil to figure out what i want to do for my "senior" portraits. now, i am going to bed before hunger attacks me once more, and i will be up with time to spare to do errands and shit. expect big things :D
NeeliaBuzz: and i like doing maps
NeeliaBuzz: they're pretty fun. it's just cool how little curves in a continent or on a border seem kind of insignificant until you have to figure out where to put a dot for a city onto a blank map
NeeliaBuzz: and then those little bumps and curvies are your guide to where it goes
NeeliaBuzz: AND THEIR ON EVERY MAP!
NeeliaBuzz: or at least the good ones
jasonwarlock: weirdo
YAY! MY FAERY'S BACK! thank you jonathan, or whoever made that possible *bounces with glee*
oh, and i hate to think that i'm speaking too soon but... i have a good number of eyebrow hairs distributed in places that were once (or twice) lacking. small joys :)
my new (hopefully permanent) tuesday routine:
-8:30-9, wake up
-go eat breakfast (which is usually yummy french toast, eggs, tater tots, and bacon. this is quality at college)
-back to dorm, finish up a thing or two, maybe shower if it's really early. dress in combination of short sleaves or tank top with one or two warm layers over (because acting class is fairly physical and the LALS (latin american and latino studies) classroom doesn't seem to beleive in proper ventilation)
-go to acting class (part yoga, part participation, part watching our teacher perform)
-power walk to the other side of campus (removing unnessecary layers as desired)
-take a very long drink from the water fountain
-sit in chair near window near front of classroom for LALS (because the room is stuffy, the teacher is very short and doesn't speak very loud, and the regular chairs squeek like a mother fucker (...or reg orgasming, take your pick *hides head in shame for bad joke that she just couldn't resist posting*)
-get some form of edible substance from stevensen coffee shop (you can get day old crossants for like 50 cents while the regulars are 1.25, i'll have to try it with hummus next time, i left a lot of egg salad uneaten today)
-back to dorm (i had one of those knowing-that-it-happened-but-seriously-not-remembering-the-event moments walking back to my room. very weird.)
-blog/check other peoples blogs/email (cause who'm i kidding, i'm addicted. not as bad as i've been before, but still)
-shower! (now! seriously woman, you can't put it off any longer!)
and btw, ladies and gentlemen, i am wearing a bra today. granted it will probably come off around 2 or 3, but this is the first time in quite a while in which i will have worn such a contraption
i had a weird ass dream last night, something about seeing my friend robert moyer and his mom at their house, which was a really weird house and they were scatering m&m's over the floor for some kind of game, and his dad came in and he was like this huge biker guy with tattoos and stuff and then other people were there for like some pagan traditional game, i don't know. then we were at a bookstore and i couldn't find the drama section and the labels were really weird cause some were yellow but i couldn't figure out what they signified, and i found some book that i was holding on to, and then there was like a section of old french love songs which were aparently indecent for children or something like that. then all my middleschool friends showed up, and i started pointing out to shaina how i could really remeber each of their names, but i some how ended uo pointing to merchandice in the store and saying who each product reminded me of. and there was like this suitcase that could hold tons of clothing but also doubled as a beach chair and i thought that was the coolest thing in the world and got hung up on that for a while.
in another part of my dream i suddenly had two pairs of the same flip flops and i found three of the shoes lying together and it was really weird and i was very confused because i only have one pair of flip flops and i do not have a third leg. anyway, yeah. i need to go shower now. i really hate it how they clean our bathroom on tuesday morning. it pisses me off.
ok, i lied. we didn't go to sleep at a reasonable hour. instead we went over to alex( levy)'s (again) and hung out there watching cartoons and being silly while they had sex. we ended up falling asleep on the chair in his room, and in the morning we climbed over into bed with reg and alex and it was fun... don't ask, just trust me that it was fun and wonderful.
it's like the 60's all over again, but without the drugs and music
and i'm back in palo alto. (that didn't take long now did it)
um... royal tenenbaums. saw it tonight. and since last night was, well, a lot, and not entirely in the good way, we're going to bed at (*gasp*) a possibly reasonable hour for once. never under estimate the power of emotional drainage.
and i'm back in santa cruz. not too hugely psyched, but bryy's energy is slightly contagious, and i do love this place. i forgot to bring back a bunch of the hangers i brought home over break, but i'll get em this weekend.
everyone who reads this must must must come to rocky horror picture show on saturday, because i know of a lot of people who are planning on it, and a bunch i'm planning on dragging and if lots and lots of people come then it will be SO much fun and it will make my day. so yeah, come come come :D
*toot to-do-doot doot doot* welcome to dulac, such a perfect town
here we have some rules let us lay them down...
been stuck in my head all afternoon.
guess who's not packed yet? and who was planning to be IN santa cruz right about now buying books and settling back in, making an inventory check and such, but instead is counting her collected spare change and sowing?
You are very flirtatious and have no problem flaunting your sexual side. You enjoy all the attention you get from acting ditzy, but behind your exterior you're very street smart and can help anyone along the way with their relationships. And hey, who else can look exactly like Burt Reynolds?(Except for the mustache!)
except for the ditz part, that describes me fairly well, i dunno, at least i'm a Joey Lauren Adams character. she's sexy. they needed more of a variety and the other female characters, like justice and the diamond robber grils in J&SB strike back, and that girl in mallrats that has sex with people to write a book about it, and SELMA HAYEK, DAMN IT! I want to be sexy as hell and inspire people to do what i want... *sigh*
it's benn's family friends gathering party thing today. and seeing how alex, benn, and i were up until about 5 am (actually later), i'm not exactly in my biggest of party modes. more on last night later :)
You're a fucking cat, not some fairy tale shit! You've no place in the world of nonsense, and its puzzles have nothing to do with you, whether you find them too easy to understand or too difficult. Things are what they are, and you're quite happy that way, existing in reality.
chloe, dahling, this is SO you:
You're the epitome of insane. Either you're very smart, or you're too damn stupid. The world is your playground, and everything -- and everyone -- in it is a toy for you to play with. People should be scared of you, but because you're so affable, they aren't. Tough for them.
