Heals The Original Dryness: 09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002
Heals The Original Dryness
i am no longer a faerie
it was not vanity that drew her to the mirror; it was the amazement at seeing her own "I." -the unbearable lightness of being
9.30.2002
i have a headache
an i think my pictures are way too happy for this page. ian apparently photoshop-ed one of the pictures and sent it to me but i never downloaded it and now i can't access my email cause it's being stupid and pissy and stuff. i need a more ambiguous picture. is she smiling? is she not? you don'y know! so that way it won't clash with my foul mood blogs as much.
NeeliaBuzz: today was kinda shitty
jfbguy: what happend?
NeeliaBuzz: i really didn't want to go to ballet and i kinda fell apart in pancatantra rehersal cause i had no idea what i was doing and every one else had no idea and it was really frustrating and i just wanted to go home and i was just falling appart
jfbguy: you seem like you need sleep
jfbguy: :-D
NeeliaBuzz: yeah
NeeliaBuzz: oh, that too. i had a 9 am section this morning
jfbguy: sucks
NeeliaBuzz: took a nap on tresha's bed, but that was only for a couple hours and i felt all shitty aftearwards
and something else totally unexpected... i got a "happy belated rosh ha shanah" from john sefel on his website. something that made me jump in my seat and cover my startled face in amazement. that made me really happy. I LOVE YOU!
conversations about gum surgury:
NeeliaBuzz: whats up?
starpuppy116: 123 Shakespeare was today
starpuppy116: :-)
NeeliaBuzz: ooo!
NeeliaBuzz: sounds like fun
starpuppy116: twas
NeeliaBuzz: i had gum surgury
starpuppy116: :-(
NeeliaBuzz: twas interesting, i've never had oral surgury or anything where i got numbed up before
NeeliaBuzz: it was pretty cool
NeeliaBuzz: i wish there were some way they could keep the little spots that got stuff done to them numbed
NeeliaBuzz: i had gum surgury
NeeliaBuzz: and i'm running out of medication
NeeliaBuzz: or at least luvox
NeeliaBuzz: provides for fun times
JujuJosie: ouch, why did you have gum surgery?
NeeliaBuzz: cause my gum line on my canine was receeding practically to bone
JujuJosie: ouch! i didn't notice
NeeliaBuzz: yeah, dad can tell you all about the procedure
JujuJosie: well you know, i dont think i really need to know the details
NeeliaBuzz: hehehe
NeeliaBuzz: it's' all fun and games till the numbness wears off
JujuJosie: so this was today? fun way to spend your tuesday
NeeliaBuzz: exactly
NeeliaBuzz: public transportation, quick surgury and then.... ugh....
NeeliaBuzz: cause the surgury itself was nothing
JujuJosie: well thats sort of good
NeeliaBuzz: couldn't feel a thing except some pressure and tugging at times, but now i have these stitches in my mouth that i am paranoid about
NeeliaBuzz: like i'm going to get it infected or something
NeeliaBuzz: and it's still bloody and stuff
NeeliaBuzz: :-(
JujuJosie: ick, well its not likely that it will get infected, but i know the issue is the idea of it being infected
NeeliaBuzz: yeah
NeeliaBuzz: and theres the issue of the gum implant itself, if it'll take or if it will die and fall out :-(
NeeliaBuzz: but seeing how i am barely moving my lip i'm trying to keep those chances low
JujuJosie: well if it falls out they can put in another one
NeeliaBuzz: yeah... and then i get another bloddy things with stitches on the roof of my mouth that i need to try not to get infected
NeeliaBuzz: not to mention its another 2 hour trip to santa teresa
as you can see i'm too tired to actually blog, so you shall have to deal with this as a poor substitute
the last bit of my second fruit bar fell on my shirt. my white shirt no less. oh well, matched my skirt.
i'm auditioning this afternoon. for the halibut. hehehe
i have yet to run into bryy.i am running into lots of random people, including this really nice guy named joey who i might have met before but we weren't sure. my theory was it was more of a we'd just been in the same area's a lot and probably seen each other but never been formally intorduced. who knows. i'm not hugely paying attention to this right now. alan and i keep thinking of interesting weird things we discovered recently, or this measuring tape on the desk that it extremely ghetto. so yeah, this'll be an interesting post for me to look back on.
i am currently useing the internet for ian and sean's room. i signed up to audition for fall shows tomorrow, i have a monoluge and you know i've got a hundred and one songs under my belt, and i might like drop ballet or something like that, i doubt i'll get in, i just feel like i should do more auditions here so tht way the nerve factor can go down. like at castilleja, i audtioned for basically everything,
gah! my mother and her dad are both getting my emails as gobble-dee-gook. so he's all confused as to who's sending him emails and what the hell it's supposed to mean (he actually said hell in his email, i'm so disillusioned) and i feel so bad! i'm having to communicate with them in the subject lines, and even then i'm not sure if those are going through. *sigh* it's frustrating.
so i asked mom in my last email to possibly send peter to this site, in which case everyone say "hi peter! you're the most wonderful grandfather ever! we love you!" and by everyone i mean me... so that would be the royal we :)
anyway, we should have dsl soon. our modem came in the mail on friday, so our service should be up soon, and then you'll have lots more aileen blogs to entertain and inform you of the life in santa cruz. i should really also blog about last night and going to pygmalion and getting to talk to a bunch of old friends and teachers, and stealing a dress from the back of a boy's car, and singing and dancing on stage with jonathan afterwards, playing bumper pool with john, paul, and benn and actually beating them occasionally, very exciting, and then going to see the midnight showing of princess bride at the aquarius and actually winning something (i don't think i've won anything in a very long time, it was quite thrilling). quite a fun night, it was wonderful. so... more details in that area later :)
letter i just sent to relatives after reading nora's letter to relatives (she just moved and is settling in seattle right now, so i thought i was in enough of a similar situation that i deserved to send out a self indulgent letter):
Subj: from the other daughter...
...who is living on her own in a strange new location
we are still without internet in our little townhouse so i am taking advantage of being online while i'm home from a dentist appointment (i got my first cavity. i survived 19 years without cavities and now i have one! i feel so flawed) and for yom kippur. we are also without tv/cable and newspaper, so we were pleasantly isolated on the 11th. my housemate and i decided to go out and support the economy in honor of the occasion. so we now have decorations for the walls. the last tenents left various kitsch-y wild cat pictures alond with some decent furniture and a bed. we can deal with the bed and the worn out armrests of the furniture but the pictures were too much. their frames were in really bad condition too.
we've cleaned it up a bunch. the previous tenents were incredibly messy, so marcy (our landlady, mother of a couple of my friends, which is how i got a place) replaced the carpets and did a good once over of cleaning the whole place and then benn (my sweetie) and i bought harsh chemicals and cleaned some of messier spots more.
our appliances are like sick children. they need lots of rest and constant supervision while they're awake. our dishwasher spit up on the counter the first time we used it. we figured out that the water was comming out the airvent next to the faucent, so we just turn the opening towards the sink, so it spits up in the sink and we can just take a sponge for the random splatterings. marcy's theory is that something might be blocking the pipe in the garbage disposal so we're going to have someone take a look at that soon. also, the hose on the back vent of the drier broke loose when we were moving in and had to move the dryer out of our walkway. benn wasn't too sure about what would be the best way to fix it, and at the time it wasn't that high on our "fix it" priority list at the time, so we waited until our other housemates got there and set them to those tasks. the kitchen faucet also ticks me off, but talking to dad about it he said it should be just a matter of changing a few washers, so we'll see how that goes.
my housemates are wonderful. after 5 years at an all girls school, living with three really nice guys is such a breath of fresh air. and after having a single in the dorms halfway across campus from my friends, living with other people is a nice change as well. having a single was lonely. now i have people to shop with and cook dinner for and watch movies with and all the other pleasures that come with having housemates. it'll probably fade as school starts and we all hold odd hours and lose sleep and become more stressed and irritable, but hey, it's santa cruz, the stress level can really only go so high. so, dispite various difficulties, life is good.
ps to blog readers: various difficulties includes low seratonin levels, so despite things being wonderful, i am still having bouts of depression, but we're working on it. i'm all practicing for school and everything. :)
fyi, we are without internet in sc, so blogs will be few and far between, and email (if any of you cared enough to send one... *sniff*) may take a little while to reply to.
we currently have quite a love hate relationship with our townhouse. we love it cause it's ours and it's home and it's big and could be a lot worse. we hate it cause nothing works. thats a little exaderation, but so far, the sheets we brought didn't fit cause out bed is a queen not a full, the dishwasher spit up all over the counter and sink, spilling into drawers, the washer makes funny noises, and the vent tube at the back of the dryer has fallen off. so yeah. we're working on the place.
tonight is the night of slightly funny tasting food. i have bread, but it's sourdough. and i have ranch but it's one that's been in the fridge in the not most sealed conditions and it's hard to tell if it's ok or not cause face it, how often do you eat ranch dressing straight? and i can't tell if it tastes right with the bread cause the bread is sourdough! *sigh* curse my high metabolism and digesting dinner so quickly.
