Heals The Original Dryness

i put my sisters sheets through the wash. turned out my mom had already done them with out telling me. never under estimate the power of my fear of my older sister.

benn, alex levy, and i went and saw Amelie. my friend angel's ex boy zack was there. it was really freaky. Amelie, is a very cute movie. sooooooooooooooooo cute. there are now two movies on my list of examples of how i'd want to be seduced: chocalat and amelie. i think the french are just good like that ;). anyway, movie, happy doughnuts, alex's house, south park, early edition, (*melts at the memory*) two hands on you and a massage are wonderful things, but four... wow... and they're talented too... (*drools*). i'm so in love. and late night hbo porn really doesn't do anything for us. cartoon stuff is wonderful tho, it has a certain amount of recognizable redeeming qualities :D

people. NEVER become so desperate for money that you will subject yourselfs to not only gross but probably damn unhealthy and harmful to your system and mental health. if someone offers you a million dollars to eat maggots, thats one thing, but competing against others with several tasks of similar horrific-ness, please please please don't. not eating. your internal organs are wonderful things. be nice, for my sake.

can we say "what the flying fuck?"

i love you ingrid.

sweet heart, lover, could i recover?
what would i do on my own?
putting thoughts of you aside in the south of france
would i think of suicide?
darling shall we dance...

don't know why. just popped in my head while reading paz's blog
*SIGH. goes back to singing* sha la la la, that ain't no crime!

yes, i know, not another one...




Which Rocky character are you?

damn straight i enjoy tap dancing, sex, and showing off my nipples ;) i don't think any other quirky little personality test could have discribed me better O:-)

w00t! i have successfully gotten neil addicted to exploitation now! huzzah! *dances about* we went over to his house and watched Snatch on his spiffy new computer with dvd and cd rom drives so he can now burn cd to cd. but first, he must go through the excruciating pain of transfering all personal files of any sort from old computer to the new computer. mwahahahahahahaha. everyone point and laugh at neil. ;)

and now for another stunning edition of... YOU KNOW YOU'RE TIRED WHEN:

-you go to "getyourowncoat.blogspot.com" (as it is shown in my bookmarks on my dad's computer) conVINCED it is paz's, and really don't think twice about it until you realize theres no link to ingrid from it. (i was also very confused why paz was saying she's not good with little kids so there was no rational way it could be paz. but hey, i was tired...)

-CANNOT understand the way your best friend is talking to you...
NeeliaBuzz: how are you? whats up? tell me everything
Neilsat: Fought computer. Unsuccessfully.
Neilsat: Wanna donate to the Computing Liberation Front?
Neilsat: I am well. Done with holidays,.
Neilsat: Which is actually a good thing.
NeeliaBuzz: excellent (to holidays comment)
NeeliaBuzz: fought computer? explain
Neilsat: Heh. You wound up in the OD entry about such matters.
Neilsat: Even if it only said "All apologies to Aileen"
NeeliaBuzz: *blink*
NeeliaBuzz: COMPLETE SENTENCES DARLING
NeeliaBuzz: my mind is just waking up after finishing the 4th harry potter. speak slowly and in complete sentences
Neilsat: Those WERE! They had subjects an' verbs an' everythin'!
NeeliaBuzz: *flips off neil*
ok, that conversation makes far more sense in hindsight but at the time...

-can't remember if you blogged the "happy tomorrow" comment or where it would be because you're TOO DAMN TIRED... and really need more medication than you have... *sigh* (either way, it was from a note i left on mallory's od. "hey. give neil's dad a break. he's a person too. in fact part neil. or neil's part him. i dunno, theres genetic material going on there that needs a certain amount of respect. anywhoo, hope you have a happy tomorrow (thats a good well wishing phrase! we should integrate that into our language :) love ya! -aileen")

time... to... sleep...

oh but wait! the tale of gift swapping! i gave benn a puppy whom we have named rasberry, nickname shmuck puppy (friend of his calls her dog shmuck puppy, ben jarvis thought that was an excellent name for a dog), and he got a red, crane-decorated kimono (his mom got it in japan on her trip) for me that looks damn sexy and wonderful. its all very happy and wonderful :)

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
*looks very innocent in a who-me? sort of manner* eee!

amazing, blogger was only down for __ hours, and we still barely survived...

i was really depressed for several days after seeing jonathan. i'm getting better. its just that since there was never the official break up date, there was never the official "cry because it's over" date as well, so that whole flood of emotions hit me after seeing him at bryy's party because he was so wonderful and it was just like old times but we weren't actually together but just hugging him.. uch, it was overwelming.

so i cried. a whole damn lot. but benn was there, so i felt less alone and helpless than i would have. and i slept. and padded around. but i'm doing better now. now i have to schedual and go to doctor appointments. :)

i got Dark Side of the Moon for myself. :D *trances out, listens to music, is happy*

it's amazing how incredibly powerful that certain touch and feeling is. just hugging him sent me back. i didn't want to leave. i felt i could stay there for hours as i used to. just from his feel and touch and smell. i miss him. i cried in the car. tears are still welling up thinking about it. i dunno. it's just theres so much emotion there. and i just don't want to hurt anyone.

and i've been wrong
i've been down
i've been a lotta hardwood breaken

no i don't know the words but thats the music in my head right now

pop songs stuck in my head, whyyyyy, why you always trip me when i'm hiiiiigh..., gushing with erin, hearing of her new sweetie, deeply like a submarine... alex is addicted, ranting to alfred, alfreds good to rant to ...ranting about things that aren't even relavent anymore (that emotional memory for ya, you can rant with the same fervor 7 weeks after the fact)... dada dada da d-da *chord*, i have hair.. and i'm really relaxed and enjoying how soft my skin is right now..

i feel like i'm in a music video, and no spoken word can adaquetly convey the scene/whats going on (doesn't sound right. ah well, thats how it is)

*sigh* it's just impossible to capture this moment in blog form. but it's fucking great. bedtime now.

and we have a redhead!

happy day to all ye newly free for the next two weeks of winter. i'm going red (light auburn if you want specifics) waiting for hair to dry, cause i showered this morning. benn can take a full shower in the time it takes for me to BRUSH my hair... i think some of it needs to come off.. but lets see how the hair color does it.

i put on some make up
put on the eight track...

note to self: limit intake of depressed blogs all at once. tis quite hazzardess to one's health. fix with some serious deep-dicking, pronto.

i love you all i really do, and i wish i could seriously fix castilleja because it's a wonderful school in many ways. hang in there. i just see my friends over at gunn and they still have that glow and twinkle in the eye. and it's so sad to come home and read peoples blogs who are almost fading! and thats not good! but (cue after school special music) i felt the same way when i was in your position, and i made it through!

and benn is distracting *sigh* *gives a big hug to everyone*

my world is smaller these days. it's kinda nice.

it's odd. even tho i'm not depressed right now, remembering ani songs or just singing them to myself make me almost want to cry from the memories they have. sensory memory is odd like that

i'm going to finish that lower blog later. i'm going to bed now. sorry folks, you'll have to be bored out of your minds later too :)

alright. real story of this weekend. thursday night benn and i went and saw ocean's eleven (very clever movie, i WANT THE SOUNDTRACK, so many sexy people in the same place at the same time being witty and wearing black and costumes and it was cool) he dropped me off at home (he had finals and stuff friday) we talked and kissed in the car and it was wonderful. went to bed around 11, tryed to fall asleep for an hour, decided i really needed a glass of water and a bit of food or something, and while i was up why not get harry potter and read for a bit, went to sleep around THREE, slept until FOUR PM, lounged, got up, did at least part of my "internet rutine" while my mom and sister yelled at me to get dressed so we could go to dinner cause me sis got her period, an obligitory cause for celebration even if she'll be cursing it's existence every time it comes from now on , went out to il fornio, couldn't get a table, cute little highschoolers in formal wear, hopped around downtown for a bit, ate at palermo (yummy food but there was some kind of gathering in the banquet room that had really strong smelling seafood, and it smelled really bad. ruined the meal when it was at its strongest), rented movies (hedwig, snatch, and special edition princess bride)

i love being able to really appriciate good food. we got italian tonight. yum. lots of highschoolers in formal attire were running around. it was so cute.

and we watched hedwig... :)

FOUND IT! WOO HOO! *bounces with glee* its so wonderful, and so damn true and consise and wonderful and i love npr :D:D:D

(internet explorer just decided to make all my default fonts bigger. odd.)

(my sister and i are so alike. it makes sense considering our nature and nurtures are practicly the same, but still it's amusing. it's like reading an entry from my hand written journal in ninth grade on the internet. its really damn amusing. we're so textbook in some ways, it's delightful)

i think it's really sad how we spend our teenage years apologizing for ourselves. it just shows what condition our self esteems are in. we just need more love and hugs to go around... and less guilt... and less stupid people... shit... (*thought mode. too abstract to type at the moment*)

everybody's got the right to their dreams...

shit, now that chant is going to be stuck in my head all day... *sigh*

*chants ala rocky horror audience*

i want a web cam

I WANT AN ORGY

i want a web cam

I WANT AN ORGY

i dunno. maybe you had to be there... i do want a web cam tho.

every once in a while i get struck by how oddly romantic benn's way of finding me again was. it's just like, it wouldn't have HAPPENED a century earlier the way it did. the story you are USED to hearing is finding an address or number through people, which was kinda how i thought i happened when i got his email. he might have talked to chealse, who refered him to someone who went to casti, who refered him to someone who knew me, who gave him my address. but it didn't happen that way. while rehooking up his old computer he remembered that he had old emails from my castilleja address that had a missing peice of information in his head, namely my last name. so he found them, got my last name, did a google search, clicked "i'm feeling lucky" and low and behold this web page pops up. now is that a modern romance or what?

odd side note. my skin kinda smell like banana...

added more links. six layer kate is cool because it's like being able to listen in on one of those relaxed conversations between old friends. you know the kind around a coffee table on really comfy couches and chairs and everyone jsut lounging around and telling stories or talking about they're day. reminds me of what the basement of the chapel was like. *nostalgic little sigh*

words mean things is adam. both these links i got from the top ten blog, btw. adam is cool. i follow his blog off and on, but since this morning i broke down and finally posted comments, i decided to finally link it (if nothing else to see my words *looks high and mighty* ;) his blog isn't the typical (i dunno if there IS a "typical" for weblogs) diary/random thoughts format. it's a lot of really interesting insights and links and critiques and rants of sorts. it kinda reminds me of kelli's in some ways, if nothing else but in the fact that they are both wonderfully eloquent writers. i quote a lot of his movie reviews cause he words them well, most esp harry potter and episode one dvd. good informative. he also takes good photos. check em out, they're really cool :)

*random thought cause i'm staring at them on benn's floor* i really don't do tube socks. i don't like the feeling of my ankle and heel competing for space.

*smirk* it's so me, it's sad.

meep..

(that was just all i could think of asying at the time. wasn't in my happiest of moods. probably needed food)

i added someone completely random to my links. mostly because she IS now one of the people i keep track of online. i've talked to her once via im, and even then she thought i was neil. it was amusing. either way, her and al's journals have subsequently turned into constant gushes of love and admiration. it's so damn cute.

ok, i am going to go attempt to unravel my hair...

at your command
before you here i stand
my heart is in my hand... ick...

i don't know why i woke up with that in my head, but i did. i was being continually hit on in my dreams last night. from seventhgraders to people i met maybe once. and i wasn't flirting back but i wasn't really stopping them either. it was kinda like in real life. i was just being myself and trying to figure out what the best time to slip in that i have a boyfriend would be. i don't understand my subconcious these days. well... i do, but it makes no sense. i think its over reacting or something. i also had a dream a couple nights ago that i was carrying/dragging a really heavy garbage bag around by a strap of some sort, and woke up and i was holding benn's hand over my shoulder like that. *shakes head. shakes it off* stupid post finals stress.

blacken my eye
set fire to my tie
as we dance to the masochism tango

"I GOT IT! the sound of music... what?"

i forgot to tell all ye loverly people. BENN AND I GOT TICKETS FOR THE 4:10 SHOW OF LORD OF THE RINGS THE WEDNESDAY IT COMES OUT! can we say w00t? it'll be my first time seeing a movie on the day it's released. its not the first show, and its not the night show, but its the first day and that'll be pretty damn cool either way.

alright, to bed at a reasonable hour i go.

i should be a mediator when i grow up. or a counsler. or just be ms. hof :) i was just on a roll tonight. it felt good.

btw, blogs made npr radio news. a linguist professor had an essay on the new phenomenon "blogs" at the end of fresh air. it was great. it was great, i'm gonna try to get a transcript.

barbara streisand has a chrismas album out... for fucking christ's sake, SHE'S JEWISH! isn't she? last time i checked *wanders off and shoots self* i hate this society...

in other news pills spilt in a suitcase appear to be of a larger quantity than pills not spilt and still in their proper bottle

interesting kinda things i was going to blog before i got distracted: i bought a ticket for the train with one of those automatic machines with a 10 dollar bill. i got $7.25 in quarters back. it was truely bizzare. i got change at the little convenience store thing for it. the clerk guy said wow.

benn and i need helmets. for our heads. we bump them muchly. its really sad.

it's official, i'm a nocturn. *sigh* and i can't spell. i slept today.

*pouts* kitty needs her medication... *wanders off. falls asleep on benn's bed* mmm.. much better :)

this has just been a night of reading blogs and one by one feeling more and more like high school is so weird. and so, we present: the following outburst...

HIGH SCHOOL IS SO FUCKING WEIRD!!!!!! just reading josie's and alex's and alfred's and person a's... and i'm not even done reading all my peoples blogs! MROWR!

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?????????? *curls into a fetal position and trys to escape it all*

i know. i'm done with it. but i can't help being empathetic and having emotional memories FLOOD back on me when they are triggered. *wimper*

chloe has a blog!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

*celebrates good times, come on*

i just had an oppertunity to blog in my sisters journal (she had the thing saved for her sn. makes sense) do i take it? ...maybe later ...SHHHH!!!

monet's nympheas? show picture pweez?

Two atoms are walking down the street, and one suddenly looks around and says to the other, "I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"

two out of three, down and out. *cha-CHING*

this quarter is almost over. but first, we pack.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(the sound of a bladder infection ladies and gentlemen)

you know what? polyester is really damn cool. it can be ANYTHING. just like soybeans! but they produce nasty static cling... and that fucking bothers me. i don't like static electricity. esp since i don't shave. every single fucking hair standing on end, trying to attract thje material towards it. but still, polyester's pretty darn cool.

*sigh* i miss you crazy casti people. i'm coming home soon, but it feels like so far away. i'm closer tho. i got two thirds of my soc final done. yippee! i'm running out of snackie things tho. tis bad, but i think i'll last til i'm done.

i really just want to be around to give stressed-depressed people hugs and be there to listen and offer some thoughts and make things better so people are happier and things are better. i just want to be that token older person who's involved but less stressed than the masses and totally approchable to all, kinda like a combination ms. hof/blanchette/rino, but with no major responsibilities. just to give hugs and lend ahand or an ear or a shoulder or anything. i find it so much more rewarding being there for people than writting papers, which is why i "waste" all my time online and talking to people when i should be working, cause i feel its more important. *sigh* stupid standards people have to live by. stupid stupid people that make it nessecary to regulate the masses :-\ *sigh*

triscuits and juice rock my socks. i feel so much more human after i get nutrition...

*wimpers* i hate papers... i would so much rather bomb a course in a condensed amount of time rather than drawing it out over several days... and i'm so out of gas! *crys* i wanna go home!

my morning: FOURTEEN fucking group design presentations, done in random order starting at 8:00 am... guess who's group went last... after THREE HOURS of presentations...

i am going to die... *crash. burn.*

i can just feel myself wilting...

on another note, an open box of garden herb triscuits smells like chinese food. it's really odd.

*leans back and closes eyes* man, does this feel good...

i am having serious trouble staying upright. and i really want to call benn or someone and say "it's 3 am, i still have a shitload to do, and i need moral support. tell me i can do it!", but i'm not sure which phone number to call. anyway, i am SO sleeping for 72 hours or more at benns house when i'm done. i have seriously only gotten 3-4 hour cat naps for the last 2 days. i feel like crap.

just another reason why george dubya is our faaaaaaaavorite person this year...

i'm so decadent. it's terrible.

to sleep for 6 or 7 hours and put off work longer, or not to sleep for 6-7 hours and possibly get more work done?
that is the question.

*sigh* gad damn. why do i not care?

eeeeeeee!!!!! that makes me happy (complements usually do)!!!

you know what else makes me happy. getting a long stem rose and then being able to cuddle for an hour and a half as an anniversary thing :D and then i got to talk to mallory and neil and people and i'm just totally set to finish up this quarter and go home. but first, we eat, and drink lots of liquids :)

composition a is cold and unapprochable?? are they on crack? (probably) they're probly refering to those snotty nosed people that you really don't want to be approached by anyway.
you're cool in an enigmatic way, so people with out the intellectual development would just be reduced to smitherines with their inferior mental capabilitys trying to understand that which is far beyond them. but to those who are your type (works of art ;) think you are the coolest and most unique beautiful thing around. :D

the painting fits you well, the description just needed work. i love you ingrid!

gosh darn it! the intro to design presentations aren't until tomorrow. and we have to be there at 8 am. *frowns* and i still have a bladder infection of some sort dispite drinking 4 gallons of water two nights ago. its not too bad tho. just annoying as fuck. grr.

my god, i'm just on a Gypsy KICK tonight...

well someone tell me when is it my turn
don't i get a dream for myself
starting now it's gonna be my turn
gang way world, get off of my run-way
starting now i'm, batta thousand
this time boys i'm takin the bows and....
EVERYTHINGS COMING UP ROSES

If you were a work of art, you would be Claude Monet's Waterlilies. You are soft and gentle, but very colourful. Although based in reality, you look at the world through a filter of impressions which shape how you see things. Splashes of light help to define your presence and bring an endearing quality.

*BEAMS* :D eeeeee!!!!

if you wanna make it, twinkle while you shake it
if you wanna grind it, wait till you've refined it
if you wanna bump it, BUMP IT WITH A TRUMPET
GET YOURSELF A GIMMIC AND YOU (bum) TOO (dadadada) CAN BE A STAAAaaaAAAAAAAAAR!

it has been noted that my sister and i write/talk alike in our blogs. well, we do share a good amount of genetic material and we did grow up in practicly the same environments. i also think it's interesting that i can read her's but she has no interest (for her own peace of mind and mine) in reading mine. and its really because i've gone through what she's going through, but she hasn't gone through what i'm going through. mental development is all interesting like that :)

back to "FEVERISHLY" working i go...

you know what i hate. smoked turkey cold cuts. they just ruin my afternoon, esp when i'm looking forward to this delicious club sandwich and it turns out to have smoke turkey. it just throws off the entire sandwich. you know what else i don't like. how when it's a sunny day in winter, it's still freezing ass cold. but you still get sun burnt. whats with that? grr... stupid seasons...

popular opinion is up. w00t.

i want a baby. i want to be old enough to have a baby. i want to be in a place in life where i am with a certain someone in a stable place and we are totally ready to have a baby.

i was sitting next to a mother with a 6-month old girl during intermission, and a couple seats down was 7 or 8 month old, i'm really not sure, toddler, and they were interacting and they were so adorable and so cute and i want one... *pouts*

you know its time to take a break when: you're pulling at your hair and reading random peoples blogs much more than you're typing your own critique of the show you saw this afternoon, or your analysis of socrates and education. *sigh* shower time.

i really need to stop eating entire boxes of triscuits the day i buy them.

spread the word. wheres my prize? someones gotta listen... -assassins

gotta love politics. this is why i stay out of it. i'm way to sarcastic. *sigh* theres no place for our kind in high government possitions

hey everyone! my sister has a blog!

can we say currupting the masses? thank you, jonathan!

NeeliaBuzz: yeah, bladder infection
DaveInACar: ouch
DaveInACar: still?
NeeliaBuzz: another one
NeeliaBuzz: not as bad as the last one
NeeliaBuzz: ...yet...
DaveInACar: yet still annoying and uncomfy?
NeeliaBuzz: indeedy-o

quick blog. benn is here. everyone say hi to benn. "hi benn!" very good class. he threw me on the bed when he came in. it was really exciting. after improv we went to this INCREDIBLE spainish restaurant and had WONDERFUL food (i got "plantain encrusted chicken breasts in a banana curry sauce, with white rice and sauted vegitables." uch, *DROOLS*) i just fall over everytime i think about it, and then turn to benn and say, "that was reeeeeeaaaaally good food" and he grins and says i'm silly, but we already knew that. anyway, got a bit of work done today. we slept late and then napped in the afternoon so we didn't go out in search of edibles until maybe 10:20. it was bad. but we found some. this pizza place downtown was watching goonies on tnt ("sweet!" -benn) so it was cool. then we rented "the tao of steve" on video and came back here and watched it. i really wanted to rent "to sir with love" so i could call it research for my essay i'm writing about socrates and education, and how the current system really has it wrong and is missing the point about what knowlege really is, and not only does one become wiser when one isin constant persuit of knowledge, one leads a better and "more virtuous life" in socrates' opinion.

EVERYONE must see "the tao of steve" it is SO damn cute and SO well done and i just LOVE it to death and i think EVERYONE should see it because it is WONDERFUL and yeah. incredible restaurant, incredible movie, i'd say this has been a fairly successful weekend :)