i have just bought an ipod and will soon be transfering all my music files onto it. the question that begs to be asked now: what shall be the first song i listen to off my brand spanking new ipod?
NeeliaBuzz: oh my god, i had a frikken date tonight!
NeeliaBuzz: must brag to someone!
NeeliaBuzz: it was so normal!!!
NeeliaBuzz: like how it works in sitcoms!
NeeliaBuzz: it was really nice!
NeeliaBuzz: we met up at a coffee shop and chatted for a while then we walked around a bit then got dinner, then came to my place and watched a movie
NeeliaBuzz: and got to leaning on eachother and arms around eachother a bit during the movie
NeeliaBuzz: end of the night hug and a kiss
NeeliaBuzz: oh good lord!!!
NeeliaBuzz: it never works for me this way!!!!!!!!!!
NeeliaBuzz: i'm wiggin out man
i'm really pissed. we had night focus tonight. i ended up doing frikken nothing. i was like a runner/errand boy and a lot of the time was just sitting around doing nothing and thinking about how i could be playing pool at a bar or dancing at goth night or having sex or talking sex or something other than sitting outside waiting for the slight chance that someone will have something they need me to get or do or something. but no, nothing. i get home at 1:10 in the morning, probably missed one of my boys being online, could try to call other people see if they're up or still downtown. i was talking about making a "booty call" tonight. last time i made a booty call it didn't work out so well. he wasn't too kean on being my bitch. he's a dad now. probably. unless something horrible happened. which i am a horrible person for thinking. i don't even know what to do with that information or lack there of right now. i didn't hear anything, i don't know when it's birthday was, healthy or not, how he's doing how she's doing, if a gift certificate would be of help or no, i mean it probably would be but would the gift be accepted. would that change anyhting. do i actually want to be involved in this process/his life anymore. i dunno, the whole thought of it leaves a sour taste in the back of my mouth these days. or a lump in my chest. some kind of not happy feeling that i don't know what to do with and really doubt that throwing a gift certificate their way would help anything. i really don't know what to do. i'm definately feeling the functional depression right now. should not have drank beer. silly beer, always letting me down. i want a boyfriend. i need something.
...or not, thats cool!
because of course, now that i have no time, a social life will come into existance for me.
i feel sexy when i play pool well ;)
scared off another one.
this does not bode well for the future.
go me!
so i actually had a social life tonight! it was really refreshing! i went to the ssc company picnic and ate lots and lots of food, and then actually played SOFTBALL which i hadn't played since elementary school probably, and i managed to get like a base hit almost every time, it was really exciting, and i ALMOST got to score, i was on third with two outs and the batter is stupid and pops a fly and the other team caught it. we went thru so many innings with batters hitting fly balls and the other team just catching them. you had to hit grounders to get anywhere, which is what i was doing :) and i managed to actually contribute as an outfeilder a bit, scooping up rolling balls and throwing them
in the right direction with all my might and throwing my shoulder out probably but i got like double jointed shoulders so thats understandable. but yeah, i didn't suck horribly! which i was totally expecting to! it was great! not that anyone would have cared, theater people don't play sports, that was acknowledged from the begining, but it was a nice feeling of pride for me.
then fireworks and bouldering and playing pool at the rush. i wish i could have seen fireworks up closer, but the people i was with weren't up for that, so i got a social experience instead and it was great.
santa cruz's were kinda fun, cause theres no offical display cause they're actually illegal over here, so it just ends up being all these renegade fireworks being set off on the beach that creates this great vast chaotic constant show, and we were unfortunately pretty far from them and my friend was complaining that he was unimpressed, but i enjoying it.
would have stayed out there longer, we climbed down the cliff and were sitting on boulders on the beach, and had to boulder climb our way over to some stairs to get back up the hill. usually you can climb over to a neighboring beach, but it was high tide. so we went on a little adventure, and i wasn't wearing the right shoes. it was fun
i really wish we could have gotten more up close with the fireworks but the people i was with werent up for that. we went to the rush inn instead and that was fun. played pool, truth or dare dice poker, danced to music, hung out. i don't go to the rush during the year, but during the summer its like the unofficial hang out place for ssc, so its filled with theater people and its great :)
i hadn't been to a bar in a while...
i hear fireworks. i cannot see fireworks outside. this is annoying to me. where's my panaramic room with a view when i need it.
happy 4th of july people.
for my birthday i would like a social life.
