Heals The Original Dryness

so it turns out we could have printed revised scripts last week... and that i need to have rough blocking by next week... and we need to run thru the show for our writer, who's final version is technically due this week...

and tomorrows 4/20 and i don't want to get high and i have too much work to do, and i haven't done my therapy homework and i didnt cancel my appt for tomorrow and i wanted to cause i don't have any new stuff to talk about this week, just the same silly boy issues and me being an image concious freak, and i'm just not in the mood/ready to dive deeper right now, and it feels like a waste to just be saying the same things over and over again and spending money on it and crap like that, and i feel divided and stretched thin and lost and "congradulations, isn't freedom frightening" and seeing tent U footage from last night and people yelling and screaming and police in roit gear and strangling and choke holding people and so few people being there today, and mike not talking to me right now, and being in a totally insecure mood and not knowing what the hell is going on, and feeling like i've been told that i'm going about directing my play wrong and really all i can do is blame not having a script if i had had a script i would have been doing more along the lines that people were suggesting, i had the right instincts just not the means to do it and fuck this shit i'm moving to canada.