Heals The Original Dryness

so yesterday i was walking home from safeway and i pass mcdonalds and get pulled over by these kids doing some fundraiser shit for college scholarships. anyway, they were so cute and so tenacious and adorable that i signed up for two, helped them out, got cool points. got some good shameless flirting in there. i should have created an alternate identity for them. "I'm 35, mother of two, my husband has violent tendencies, but only when he's sober..." or i should have taken one up on his offer to help me carry groceries home or something. it was really amusing, and i was even considering having a subscription to rolling stone and wired magazine, and then i realized the amount i was paying for these magazines was the same as a medium quality sword. so i canceled the checks, as was their initial sales pitch. little did they know, or i know, that the bank charges a $25 service fee for canceled checks. so i am effectively paying a $50 flirting tax, a silly fee, a stupidness charge. and i'll never see those boys again... you see what getting laid does to me!

i'm also realizing that if i lived alone, i would be naked all the time