Heals The Original Dryness

i just reorganized my buddy list. its very disorienting. i'll probably get used to it, but i'm rearranging names like theres a feng shui to it, which there sort of it. i've just gotten used to certain names being in certain places, and suddenly having all these names moved to the top of this list where previously pretty unnoticed names were, its a little disorienting. plus it suddenly makes who's at the top of the list important. in the past that is how i organized it. those who were significant were the bookends of the list. and there was just this buffer at the top of the list, kinda a memorial to times past when john or jonathan occupied that spot, and no one quite like them has come into my life again. merf. i'm putting way too much stress into this. i should let it be and write a play. or watch a netflix. ooo, i like that option.