Heals The Original Dryness

NeeliaBuzz: when it rains it frikken pours
NeeliaBuzz: and by frikken pours i mean two guys
NeeliaBuzz: but in the span of two days
NeeliaBuzz: i haven't slept in my bed for the last two night
NeeliaBuzz: s
NeeliaBuzz: yet i've not had sex with these people
NeeliaBuzz: the first boy was just too sweet and too special and i didn't want to rush things and you know, subliminally knew there would be another opportunity
NeeliaBuzz: the second guy it was at a party and we were sleeping in the living room and couldn't find a private enough area tho this morning i was thinking, we could fuck in the shower, maybe
NeeliaBuzz: or take him back to my place
DaveInACar: nice
NeeliaBuzz: but we just ended up falling asleep again
DaveInACar: I slept with my best senior friend last night
NeeliaBuzz: cause both of us were running on very little sleep
DaveInACar: she says I'm lots of fun and we should've hooked up earlier
NeeliaBuzz: intense making out tho
DaveInACar: oh I am the king of no sleep
NeeliaBuzz: and i have a hikkie
NeeliaBuzz: small one but its amusing after theatre parties literally half the theatre department is walking around with hikkies on their necks
NeeliaBuzz: its quite amusing
DaveInACar: nice
DaveInACar: I don't have any marks but I haven't showered since last night :-(
DaveInACar: too busy
NeeliaBuzz: anyway, the really amusing part to me is i started out this weekend intent on hooking up with one of the cute theatre boys that i've had crushes on for the last month or more, and end up meeting two completely random really sweet boys instead
NeeliaBuzz: its insane
NeeliaBuzz: and its totally this situation where if i could smush them into one person it would be perfect
NeeliaBuzz: arg!DaveInACar: hee hee
DaveInACar: yeah
DaveInACar: I've been hooking up with this one girl, but everyone says that getting emotionally involved with her is a horrible idea
DaveInACar: so instead, her best friend spent the last two nights of college with me
DaveInACar: I feel studly as well as evil
NeeliaBuzz: ones like totally my type, we have totally matching personalities, the chemisty is amazing, we're so comfortable with eachother. the other is a theatre person, really cute, again totally comfortable, more sort of passionate chemistry like we just want to fuck like bunnies, i don;t think he's a virgin (previous boy was), he's older, but he lives in palo alto
NeeliaBuzz: yeah, i'm feeling very much like hot stuff right now as well :-)
DaveInACar: okay, I have to sign off
NeeliaBuzz: and like i'm more wanting just a casual thing right now so boy in palo alto would be perfect for that, and i'm totally getting like scared off inside by how well i was like working with this porter kid and how much we had in common and and how we were just such kindred spirits


i'm just literally scared, and i hate myself for it. i'm having the exact same inner dialogue i did when benn came along two years ago. if you weren't so selfish, you see what you could have, aileen? but i can't. i'm not ready. i need this me time. i'm not done being a total flirt and having possibilities. i'm not done exploring. i'm not ready for another serious relationship. i'm not over benn, i'm not over myself, i'm just not ready.

yarg