Heals The Original Dryness

i do not think i am so much a walking land mine, or a ticking time bomb, but like one of those things that people occasionally hit without knowing it but it leaves and impression but since no one knew they just kept walking and there i am sitting with this hand print indented in my stomach and a pained look on my face as crowds of people stroll by and don't see anyone. i dunno, i've just been moody recently and i just had a "wow, i'm a land mine" moment but then didn't actually go off.... i just sat there aware of how i was just activated, yet totally numb at the same time. it's an interesting feeling. to be totally numb yet fully aware of the emotions that are bottled up inside you. to have all that unfinished business that you are conciously not doing anything about. the old wounds that aren't festering but at the same time never fully close so you keep them wrapped in a bandage until they go away, but they don't, you just get used to them being there. but soon you look like a walking lepor... and it doesn't suprise you when your arm falls off. you just kinda stare at it on the ground, think "oh yeah... i used to have a functional arm... hm.." but thats about it. you probably could have held onto your arm if you really wanted to... but why bother...

i am totally off my original point. that last part is a really bad analogy with my current situation, tho it kind fits with past ones, but thats the extent of my verbal creativity for tonight. i have to go to rehersal in a half hour. i thought i only had like an hour of rehersal that i had to be at... but no... i'm once again going to be there till 10... it makes no sense, i thought i had a small part... but then i joined the puppetry people... and now all of a sudden i'm called for like 3 scenes. its insane. and i thought i might have thursday off, but no, full cast call. and i get off on friday at 5:30. *sigh* but whats the use complaining, i knew what i was getting into, and its a total ensemble show so we're getting everything fitted together with everything else. anyway, i'm going to rot my brain for a little bit before i head to rehersal. be well yall