Heals The Original Dryness

i don't know why but i am scared shitless about the cast list and the possiblity i'm not on it. i have back up options, i can do tech, i can try out for the production thats in latin, other stuff can happen, i just FUCKING HATE REJECTION AND THAT FEAR OF LOSING SOMETHING YOU LOVE and i'm stressed and tight and tired and probably should eat something right now instead of typing and dwelling on my fears and depressions. i dunno, i just got really depressed last night after reading bryy's lj. i had had a wonderful day with benn. i had slept like all day after an evening of video games at porter and playing pool at 2 am after getting food at jack in the box, and we got dinner at the yummy mexican place downtown and then went and saw panic room (damn cool movie people, reeeeeeaally well done, more on that later) and snuck into the rookie afterwards (good movie to not pay for. very typical disney, but decent compared to other. OH MY GOD! but there was this part wheree the kids were around a computer and the son is sticking post it notes on the side of it, and he's written two capital k's and stuck them up and the shot was of him sticking a third k below the other two! and this took place in texas! he was writing KKK!!! OH MY GOD! it was so freaky! i mean it was probably meant as he was in kindergarden and practicing his letters or something but COME ON! thats disturbing!) got home and read a few blogs and just like went WHUMP mood wise, it was terrible. alright, time to get dressed and go to class. benn is here :)