Heals The Original Dryness: 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
Heals The Original Dryness
i am no longer a faerie
it was not vanity that drew her to the mirror; it was the amazement at seeing her own "I." -the unbearable lightness of being
2.28.2005
everyone: look at this coat this is the most amazing fucking coat i have ever seen. i want it! so badly. so if anyone comes across it, buy it for me.
in other news, i was called "vanilla" by a guy who is in my senior seminar and apparently really doesn't know me that well. i let him know there is a dark interior that i'm apparently pretty good at concealing. then we all went to goth night. that was fun. i wanted to call up my friend who just turned 21 and get him to come down and dance with me but i didnt have my phone and james wasnt home to find it for me. ah well, i got early classes tomorrow. and there will be other goth nights.
so round two of stump the tech guy ended up being a total annihilation on the part of the tech guy who completely gutted my computer, replacing the motherboard, processor, and virtual memory. and so far so good! i love having itunes! i love my library going random, and what pops up and how i go from austin powers soundtrack to damn yankees to the who. and i enjoy it all :) maybe i should get an ipod shuffle. or an ipod. thing is if i want to ask my parents for a $250 dollar gift or however much ipods are going for these days, i'm probably going to ask for a sword. and ideally what i want is a pair of epae blade rapiers, one simple one frilly probably, but i want a pair that i can fight with, and a nice shlager blade rapier, not too complicated but something badass looking, so that i have a shlager blade one. anyway, so thats like a $500 collection right there, and i'm totally not going to just settle for that cause i want daggers and a quality parrying dagger and probably a small sword and a broadsword and all that shit, i really chose an expensive hobby... life upon the wicked stage...
in other news i'm starting a blog dedicated to my play i'm working on for playwriting cause i only have word perfect and that blows my ass hole, and i want a way to work on it at school too. so yeah, i don't know if anyone is interested in my creative process but let me know if you are.
my mind is just kinda racing, won't shut up, one of those nights, its very frustrating. i really don't want to miss tomorrow. i've missed too many tuesdays. and i like tuesdays.
i write a lot these days. and i mean "a lot" as compared to none before and 2 is a lot compared to none. i should write more. i wish i could get myself to write more even if i'm not inspired. or make myself inspired. theres a skill. to inspire ones self at will.
i'm happy. i lit another show. a show that got pretty much thrown together in 3 days and it looks more than halfway decent. if we got another runthru, oh man we would be on fire. but we don't so its just gonna be pretty decent for something that got thrown together in 3 days. we got to use my spinny light again. i think i'm going to try to include that in every show i design. its going to be the menkin light. it'll be awesome.
so it seems that james and i create our own little yin-yang universe. when one is up the other is down. i was at height of sickness on his birthday, and i'm riding a "i lit a show!!!" high while he is down. and i think the last time he was really down was during hello sex kitty. oh dear... i hope this doesnt continue as a pattern. i would hate to have to give up lighting for my roommate's mental health.
i want my voice back, i miss singing. and i'm slightly getting used to coughing all the time, which is really weird, but right now its giving me a headache so i guess i could do without the coughing...
i am so not digging this whole being awake thing. but i shouldn't go back to sleep. i've been asleep for the last 2.5 days, and my health has improved to just a cough, but my body is completely depressed and i'm still not healthy and i just feel crappy...
i think i'm gonna wander around campus. i need to write a play. i need to read some plays.
and on the third day god (or james) brought aileen nyquil. and it was green and 10% alcohol. and it was nasty as hell, but she could see why people might abuse this stuff.
of course the day i have off where i could make some calls, schedule a psychiatry appt, call j and maybe make for the weekend... is the day i have no voice. now granted i have had no reason to test and see if said voice is existant or not, so lets just call it a hunch right now. i wonder if i have bronchitis...
self- when drinking late at night... don't. unless you know you're going home with someone. you may think its fun at the time, but unless you know you will leave the party closer to sober than to drunk, don't drink. it depresses you, it puts you in a bad mood, its not good. please reconsider next time. thank you, your body
figures. the brief period of time i'm at home and have time to sit on the phone waiting for tech support is the time that my computer decided, no no itunes and i get along just fine! see! play all the music you like! we'll even cooperate with quicktime! la la la
show has opened, fucked up sleep schedule has returned, boy drama? oh probably, the only thing i think i can look forward to is my eventual return to a daily shower routine. my sclap is not happy at the moment. neither is my boob. the psoriasis or something seems to be effecting my left areola and nipple. its not happy. thats delicate skin there that is difficult to itch. and by itch i mean to scratch and releave itch, but i shorten it to itch, because scratch has more feline intentions, i dunno.
to party this weekend, or not to party this weekend...
i must sleep, but i just want to say i'm flying!
dumbo was on tv last night, walter disney was a genious
i went and slept on campus, caught the last bus up there, didn't get home til 24 hours later
i have mad problem solving skills and i made 9 candles out of flicker bulbs and pvc piping this afternoon
and i cued 90 percent of the show
i'm so hyper aware of my eyebrow shape these days. its really annoying and rather bothersome.
and i feel like a total hypocondriac. ever since i got diagnosed with psoriasis, it's been looking more like psoriasis. i'm getting rashes in all the places psoriasis rashes happen. self fulfilling prophecy, body trying to live up to its full psoriasis potential, wanting to make sure its clear that its psoriasis, needs to prove itself, i dunno. you know what it might me, it might be happening because i'm doing the daily shower routine and washing away my protective skin oils that were keeping it contained on the rest of my body. bleh.
plus looking thru my gel swatch, R44 is still slightly darker/more saturated than R336 doubled up. i could have had a richer pink wash! could have been a star! but no, i'll be forever chasing that hello kitty pink wash... forever just beyond my grasp...
*sigh* it'll be fine, i can adjust it with levels, use the amber effect to my advantage, and it wouldn't match the R64 if it had been too saturated. so yeah, sall good, worked out fine, now i just need to finish my plot and repatch and program cues and life will be dandy.
my feet were so unhappy with me today. wearing heels and no padding on the balls of my feet and then dancing for 5 hours, soo much pain by the end of the night. i stole a friend of a friend's slippers which were about a size and a half too big for me just so i could be not wearing heels for a bit. today, rather than soaking them in a hot bath, staying off them, and watching tv while i give them rubs, i proceeded to be on them for 5-6 hours doing lighting stuff in the barn then walking home from there/falafel cause the buses were not nice with me.
i felt good about the light hang tho, i got as much done as i was able to once my helper left to go perform in his show. i was supposed to have another but he over slept and then just didn't show up. but i felt resourceful, because they didn't have the color i wanted for my down lights but they did have this other pink that when i doubled it up it really resembled the color i wanted. so on one hand i had to use twice as much gel, however they had 4 full sheets of it and i managed to squeeze what i needed out of 2 and a half by taping scraps together. conservation! the key to keeping tiny theatre alive! and using what i can find, probably could have done more if i maybe called people and asked where gel frames were and stuff like that... maybe next time. my favorite accomplishement of the day was stretching a 20 foot (maybe it was 15 i can't remember at the moment) diagonally over to an insrtument, totally improperly, or at least totally not pretty or clean, but it reaches! and we're short on cable in that space. i'll find out tomorrow whether conservation of cable or proper routing of cables are more important.
i am SUCH a dork. livejournals can be deadly.
i am also a rather ill dork at the moment, seeing how my throat and cold conditions have no improved at all in the last few days. barking cough. hurts to cough. hurts to breathe. that air is a harsh thing. and my throat looks really terrible. it looks like i have blisters on my soft palate. not happy.
fyi, better day today, lots of running around, lots of running into people, and yet lots of fun and things to do and people to talk to and stuff.
and i think i want to be a singer. i like singing songs, and i like performing them for people. maybe i'll propose a piano bar night for barnstorm. i'd really want to get jonathan, or someone other than irene to be the accompanist. that would be really fun.
i get a weird thrill out of taking a handful of pills at once. it doesn't happen often, but every once in a while when i'm sick or recovering from tooth removal or something, i get to pile 4 or 5 (maybe 6 if i have a cold sore too) types of drugs into my palm and down them all at once. its the closest thing to a dangerous drug filled lifestyle i'm likely to get. hey, a girl's gotta have a fantasy life.
