ah yes, josie and i got our permits together. then i took nivek for a walk. then we went to seder. i ate lots of matzo ball soup and drank a tad over my limit of wine. i now feel kinda like shit. partly cause i'm tired, partly cause of the alcohol, partly cause we don't know how much longer my grandmother is going to live, partly cause that fucks up my schedule so i don't know what i'm going to do for food or for shoes cause my shoes are falling apart and i was wanting to go shoe shopping this weekend, and partly cause that is one of the most shallow reasons for feeling shitty but you know what... bleh
btw, reminder to everyone about what you do with someone who loses someone. be there. shut up. realize it's not about you. and thats not just me being bitchy, our rabbi told us those.
i totally forgot about passover when we went grocery shopping this afternoon. i only remembered when i got home and there was a package from the synagoge for me. i think i'm going to go home this weekend so i can be jewish and stuff. i'm staying thursday so i can be jewish and so j0sie and i can go get our driving permits together. this should be fun.
part of a reply to my friend elliot's blog. he goes to uc berekley... which i have an insane amount of difficulty spelling. from here on in, it shall be known as uc berk. because i sayeth.
i was on berekley campus tonight. i didn't know i was going to be. benn just invited me to go to this film festival with him and his dad in berekley and then we show up at your campus. good film festival. i feel like banff should be an acronym for something cause "ff" looks like it should stand for "film festival". anyway, it was really interesting. good films. there was one about tibetan children being brought across the himalayas so they could receive education cause it was too expensive for thier parents in tibet, and it was so good. it just had such humanity and such human moments, like this shot of these two kids and the older sister is stroking the younger's cheek in comfort cause they miss their parents. uch! it just made me want to cry. oh man. i think the entire audience was just sitting there unwittingly crying cause it was so... oh man. makes you want to go home and hug your parents and cry.
FUCK YOU and your passive agressive fucking shit and your fucking need to fuck everything in sight
fuck you and your fucking busy work and your need to fucking grade and fucking prove that we're doing our fucking reading
fuck you for not working
fucker
[amendum #1]
it's three in the morning. i needed to do a "fuck you" post
don't worry, its not you
[amendum #2]
i've been blogging for over 2 years now. it's quite a beautiful thing to go to the archives and see three different years in the dates. don't ask. its three in the morning. and i seem to be incapable of getting shit done. fuck.
fuck
i just can't please anyone now can i
fuck fuck fuck
i hate that i can't tell tired-cranky-ness from passive-agressive-ness. they're too fucking similar.
on the other hand, it's nice to know benn's not the only one who does it. actually thats not very comforting at all. fuck.
did i mention i bought me an optical mouse? *looks down* no i didn't. i've been mentioning it to a lot of people, online and off, so i forget who/where i've posted(/... hm, i like the idea of using "posted" for people as well) information. so yeah, bought me and optical mouse. the regular mouse that dad gave me with the computer was really annoying. it would be very inconsistant about obeying subtle movements, so i would have to wake the roller ball thing up by making drastic movements and then trying to find what it was i was trying to click on in the first place again. i had stolen james' for quite a while, but her re-confiscated it over spring break. so i went and bought a mouse while i was getting books for classes. fun stuff. now i can play mah jong again. yay!
oh, and with a certain amount of bull shit and struggle i managed to get approved for 19+ credits. very exciting. my quarter is now... almost.. official
i've been gushing to everyone so i might as well gush here
i LOVE my mwf schedule. i'd say i love my entire schedule this quarter but i have an 8 am class, which i'm doing ok with right now but i'm sure in the future i will definitly NOT love it. but we're reading interesting plays and we're watching "all about eve" which is a brilliant, interesting movie. and i'm taking a dance class where we skip around the room! and i'm taking a voice class where we skip around the room as well! and i'm in a show! it's like summer conservatory! but it's school! eee! i am loving this so much! i'm just saturated in theatre... :D so much fun
oh! on a completely different note, i DID get called back for a chautauqua show called "doorman". it was for like the greek chorus type part. so while i was waiting outside to go in with my partner to do this bit, one of the people in charge called me over and said one of the other directors wanted me to read for her. so i said "sure!" and went over there and read for the part of the lackey, and apparently they really liked me cause the director later told me they were very interested in me for the part and i said ''ooo!" but not really, but thats how i went inside. so in my head i have two shows fighting for me, cause the doorman people seemed to like me and the "kate anderson..." people really want me. so we'll see on monday if i get into anything. if not, i get to be assistant lighting designer for the black box, which should be fun. cameron's wanting to rep plot the black box, and he asked me kind of jokingly if i wanted to be his assistant and i said "sure!". that seems to be my way of getting lighting jobs. i just run into people who need help and say "i can do that" when they ask if i want to help out with some job. its very exciting.
it's been practically 3 years since roxie died
one of my friends lost her 8 year old dog just a few days ago
...
i don't think i'll ever shake those images
