tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981912012-01-10T04:34:59.290-08:00<b>i am no longer a faerie</b><br><br><br><br><br> <br>it was not vanity that drew her to the mirror;<br> it was the amazement at seeing her own "I."<br> -the unbearable lightness of beingQuoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.comBlogger15451100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-68445381086808838132007-09-07T19:21:00.000-07:002007-09-07T19:22:30.572-07:00

its a really nice feeling that i can't remember his screenname. i wish that were enough to balm the other bruises.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-82938994844574674852007-07-17T22:42:00.000-07:002007-07-18T00:15:06.236-07:00

i just turned down a booty call. cause i need to stop depending on other people's expectations of me. i need to better my relationship with myself so i can trust myself rather than falling into a cyclical cycle of depending on other people for fulfillment which just ends up freaking them out and pushing them away, leaving me with the lonelyness i'm trying to avoid in the first place.i want to

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-54394572256576908442007-06-10T23:52:00.000-07:002007-06-11T00:06:54.731-07:00

Haiku's formerly on facebook, but i decided i wanted to go a different route after i wrote the last two and realized i was getting defensive, and don't want to have any of that on facebook, so we're changing it up a little. but i wanted to keep these around, so i copy/pasted over here, but got distracted between the two steps and was freaked out that i lost everything by copy/pasting somethign

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-56906951111563516872007-03-09T10:46:00.001-08:002007-03-09T10:46:53.725-08:00

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1168414070624125352007-01-09T23:26:00.000-08:002007-01-09T23:27:50.660-08:00

i have a beer in me and blogging seemed like a good ideawhy do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?just like me, they long to be close to you

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1160377912511540732006-10-09T00:10:00.000-07:002006-10-09T00:11:52.546-07:00

i feel very sad that there are people out there who do not love their naked self

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1160296129886513532006-10-08T01:23:00.000-07:002006-10-08T01:28:49.886-07:00

but we're not meant to be alone! we're meant to be with others! we do not SURVIVE on our own! babies die if they are not given physical contact! so how the hell are we supposed to feel complete within ourselves? how are we supposed to fill our own void? its not in our nature! we are denying nature. to what, make ourselves feel better? that bad feeling is there so that we work to acheive the happy

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1160177995955093682006-10-06T16:39:00.000-07:002006-10-08T01:22:28.326-07:00

"I believe that it is better to tell the truth than to lie. I believe that it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe that it is better to know than be ignorant."Thank you, H.L. Mencken (no relation)"Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why."-Slaughterhouse-Five

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1144397162455166402006-04-07T01:02:00.000-07:002006-04-07T01:06:02.456-07:00

in squeezing my toothpaste onto my toothbrush this morning (it is 1 am) the initial sqeeze, due to some blockage of dried toothpaste around the opening, provided two bulbs of toothpaste. the continuing stream, being stretched along the toothbrush, became one line, and upon releasing the squeeze of the toothpaste, the last bit created a small bulg of the last of the toothpaste squeezed fromt the

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1144024648099507702006-04-02T17:35:00.000-07:002006-04-07T01:02:01.050-07:00

we're going to sasquatch! going to see wolfmother! going on a roadtrip with neil! going camping in washington! going to a really awesome music festival! happy happy joy joy! i really hope this doesn't fuck over an unknown work schedule...early birthday present to me!

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1143490730233353392006-03-27T12:12:00.000-08:002006-03-27T12:18:50.246-08:00

i hate patterns. actually, i love patterns, thats why i seek them and see them everywhere. but i hate this pattern. cause it doesn't bode well for me. in terms of backround boys all hooking up these days. i sense a lot of disappointment in the near future. but not direct disappointment. just the frustrating indirect kind that i can't actually do anything about because it's not a direct action

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1143451610135020312006-03-27T01:25:00.000-08:002006-03-27T01:26:50.150-08:00

i really hate finding out over the internet that guys i like now are "In A Relationship" maybe having a computer in my room was a bad idea...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1141810906097911882006-03-08T01:10:00.000-08:002006-03-08T01:41:46.123-08:00

I said "bukak3" (spelling changed to hopefully avoid weird google hits) really loud in a japanese restaraunt. a small japanese restaraunt. where my voice was the only one going on. and we had been talking about other shit that you don't usually talk about in restaraunts but neither of us were really people with tact. and its going to get us into trouble someday. one of the old ladys that works

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1125974737100479092005-09-05T19:43:00.000-07:002005-09-05T19:45:37.106-07:00

i now own a g-stringand matching langerieand a really cool beltand a digital camerai really need a bfexcept i don'tand i'm going to new york/europe in a few weeks

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1125389725063088292005-08-30T00:50:00.000-07:002005-08-30T01:15:25.126-07:00

i finally find an amazing, sweet guy, who's able to say "i'm sorry", more than once, ....and he's moves to guamand takes way too long to get back to me, but so far he has a 6 month record to beat in terms of how long it takes a guy to call me back. bleh, and 2 am confessions of love, no, maybe just confused feelings, never end up sounding the way i want them to. or at least reading them the next

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1125133256294600032005-08-27T01:58:00.000-07:002005-08-27T02:00:56.300-07:00

what does it all mean... sometimes i wonder...and get very confused...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1125094561101950682005-08-26T15:15:00.000-07:002005-08-26T15:16:01.110-07:00

him: heyNeeliaBuzz: hihim: how ya doinNeeliaBuzz: betterhim: goodhim: just wanted to make sure you were alrightNeeliaBuzz: failed writing 1him: ohNeeliaBuzz: yeahhim: im sorryNeeliaBuzz: went home, called my mom, things'll be okhim: goodNeeliaBuzz: got a ride home with christina and tommy gomez, talked to them about it, reassuring hearing from two people with MFA's that its not a huge

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1124612452646060692005-08-21T01:08:00.000-07:002005-08-21T01:20:52.653-07:00

omg, colin farrell. the man literally has more phermones than god. he can induce an orgasm with a single look. oh my god, i don't know what i would do. if seeing him unexpectedly on saturday night live reduces me to a giggling melting pile of... i don't even know! its not right i tell you!

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1124544406964703352005-08-20T06:22:00.000-07:002005-08-20T06:26:46.973-07:00

a test to see who you are and if you actually pay attention to my blog.i have just entered and entry that no one should ever see if they want to keep their self respect. tho not as bad as some of the shit out there, this is on par with a mild "the aristocrats" joke. i would not want this to be out there in a way that just anyone could stumble on, in fact i can think of quite a few people, even if

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1124378616318465652005-08-18T08:20:00.000-07:002005-08-18T08:23:36.326-07:00

i love this book, our musicals, ourselves. i suddenly understand why i didn't like grease and little shop when i was younger. because they invoke nostalgia. a nostalgia i didn't have. and in terms of grease, still don't have. little shop i think has gotten to me thru other means, nostalgia of having seen it in the past and listening to it and memories from childhood etc. plus i really like the

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1124267343290983292005-08-17T01:28:00.000-07:002005-08-17T01:29:03.296-07:00

bottle of wine and a silk shirt after a well deserved showerwish you were here

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1122449670405807172005-07-27T00:33:00.000-07:002005-07-27T00:34:30.413-07:00

i have just bought an ipod and will soon be transfering all my music files onto it. the question that begs to be asked now: what shall be the first song i listen to off my brand spanking new ipod?

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1122275805732422172005-07-25T00:15:00.000-07:002005-07-25T00:16:45.740-07:00

NeeliaBuzz: oh my god, i had a frikken date tonight!NeeliaBuzz: must brag to someone!NeeliaBuzz: it was so normal!!!NeeliaBuzz: like how it works in sitcoms!NeeliaBuzz: it was really nice!NeeliaBuzz: we met up at a coffee shop and chatted for a while then we walked around a bit then got dinner, then came to my place and watched a movieNeeliaBuzz: and got to leaning on eachother and arms around

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1121934252070388302005-07-21T01:23:00.000-07:002005-07-21T01:24:12.076-07:00

kiss me, i'm 22

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1121157126228935352005-07-12T01:18:00.000-07:002005-07-12T01:32:06.246-07:00

i'm really pissed. we had night focus tonight. i ended up doing frikken nothing. i was like a runner/errand boy and a lot of the time was just sitting around doing nothing and thinking about how i could be playing pool at a bar or dancing at goth night or having sex or talking sex or something other than sitting outside waiting for the slight chance that someone will have something they need me

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1120900893427595702005-07-09T02:13:00.000-07:002005-07-09T02:21:33.433-07:00

...or not, thats cool!because of course, now that i have no time, a social life will come into existance for me. i feel sexy when i play pool well ;)

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1120721403058852502005-07-07T00:29:00.000-07:002005-07-07T00:30:03.066-07:00

scared off another one. this does not bode well for the future.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1120552283575532172005-07-05T00:59:00.000-07:002005-07-05T01:31:24.006-07:00

go me!so i actually had a social life tonight! it was really refreshing! i went to the ssc company picnic and ate lots and lots of food, and then actually played SOFTBALL which i hadn't played since elementary school probably, and i managed to get like a base hit almost every time, it was really exciting, and i ALMOST got to score, i was on third with two outs and the batter is stupid and pops a

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1120470848016061052005-07-04T02:52:00.000-07:002005-07-04T02:54:08.023-07:00

i hear fireworks. i cannot see fireworks outside. this is annoying to me. where's my panaramic room with a view when i need it. happy 4th of july people. for my birthday i would like a social life.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1119430737076269672005-06-22T01:56:00.000-07:002005-06-22T01:58:57.083-07:00

dear selfyou have to wake up at 7:30 these days to be able to get to work at 9. do not stay up til 2. it is a bad idea. tell the nice people on aim that you have to go to bed at midnight and as much as you'd love to go into emotional baggage with someone you haven't talked to in over 6 months, you really need to go to bed. so do that. you'll thank me later. -self

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1119413810727439842005-06-21T21:03:00.000-07:002005-06-21T21:16:50.733-07:00

i feel so old. all i want to do is curl up with a book and go to sleep early. but its solstice. and i'm 21, and will be 22 in exactly a month. but i'm really tired, i've been up since 7:20 and i spent all day fixing cable and in the afternoon we had a project of sauldering all these 2fers that weren't sauldered so i did and it was really fun and i was sad when i had nothing left to saulder, so we

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1119339845161601662005-06-21T00:00:00.000-07:002005-06-21T00:44:05.176-07:00

i am now offically employed by the university. after much ado, i got paper work filled out, got to campus, got all orientated, lots of familiar faces, lots of new faces, lots of nice people tho. i missed mike, he would have fit right in. i feel like if we worked together we wouldn't hang out much outside of work as much, and that it would be a challange for me at least to be just completely

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1118128571125003602005-06-07T00:02:00.000-07:002005-06-07T00:16:11.133-07:00

i don't know what to do with myself... and it seems a lot of people are asking themselves this question... i have a lot of things to look forward to, but nothing i want to do right now. well, i can think of some things, but their not in sync with what i need to do, aka write papers of some sort. so what do i do? create drama for myself...(note: reedeo is not his actual sn)NeeliaBuzz: why do i

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1117869279285598332005-06-04T00:13:00.000-07:002005-06-04T00:14:39.290-07:00

i ended up not going to theater arts prom... :( things ended up being later here in san jose, bac was at 6 rather than 5, got done with dinner at 10 instead of at 9, got home at 10:30....i find it very sad right now that i'm compiling a list of "things i didn't get to do in college" and i can think of lots of things, or maybe just 3 right now: first rain (never ran), theater arts prom, studio 3

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1117676580952211852005-06-01T18:31:00.000-07:002005-06-01T18:43:00.986-07:00

things aileen has flaked out on today:-waking up on time-memorizing her page for class+luckily 3 people in our group just plain didn't show up, so i didn't feel quite as bad, but patty gave me a little talking of "i'm not mad i'm just disappointed" cause she wants me to succeed and i want me to succeed too i just let me down so much... uch. i wonder how i'm going to function outside the quarter

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1117619955970154552005-06-01T02:55:00.000-07:002005-06-01T02:59:20.220-07:00

in an amazing feat of pheramones and chemistry... his leatherman smells like him, and it turns me on. is this a bad thing? he just smells so good, or at least has a very distinct scent which tends to linger on my clothing after i've been with him at his house, and seems to rub off on his leatherman too. i can't help it... friends with chemistry baby

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1117011301091433522005-05-25T01:46:00.000-07:002005-05-25T01:55:01.113-07:00

holy shit, french vanilla milanosand i should really get to bedi have no idea what i'm going to do with myself after this summer. i want to go to europe. i think i need to travel a bit. my dad was suggesting that "working in a bank" idea, which i've had on my own, but i have no resume with which to impress a bank... i mean who knows, but i don't feel very confident about any sort of "real world"

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1116918623034814712005-05-24T00:04:00.000-07:002005-05-24T00:10:23.053-07:00

i really hate my computer chair, i can't get anything done in itand i ran out of money, againand i woke up late and had to run most of the way to catch my bus back to santa cruz (you CAN make it in 10 minutes if you run)fell asleep this afternoon on the couch, woke up and watched gilmore girls, and realized... i don't have to be anywhere! i don't have to rush up to campus, i can relax, i could go

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1116672487198939002005-05-21T03:47:00.000-07:002005-05-21T03:48:07.206-07:00

i smell like ocean.and my legs are going to be so pissed at me tomorrow.and i didn't ask him out...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115940735101973732005-05-12T16:27:00.000-07:002005-05-12T16:32:15.323-07:00

transitions that are really really weird and kinda wrong with itunes on random:roger waters to the curetori amos to alanis morrisetteand of course going from hard rock to sondheim...whatcha gonna do, i have eclectic tasteand a cold sore*hits things*

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115765672620747312005-05-10T15:51:00.000-07:002005-05-10T15:54:33.066-07:00

its a dangerous world out there...college girl can't even joke about being a swinger on the internet without some crazy dudes contacting me. is this what its all come to?

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115721466719257832005-05-10T03:35:00.000-07:002005-05-10T03:37:47.096-07:00

fuck! why am i completely unable to send a fucking email to people about when my show is!? it takes so long to do and i just agonize over it and spelling and dates and then lose track of what i'm doing and close the window without sending the damn email and i'm back to square one! fuck! is it so hard to tell everyone i know the dates, times, and place of my show, with a little tidbit about what

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115688040978240322005-05-09T18:20:00.000-07:002005-05-09T18:20:40.983-07:00

hurray for techno i haven't listened to in over 2 years

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115674363068774522005-05-09T14:32:00.000-07:002005-05-09T14:32:43.073-07:00

for a brief moment, we had it. for a brief moment, we were there.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115462344251280022005-05-07T03:05:00.000-07:002005-05-07T03:39:04.626-07:00

oy, this totally feels tainted now... god, i thought i was out of the realm of blogdrama, but apparently not. eh, swhat i get for keeping this thing public and findable. most people have the tact of keeping google stalking to themselves. or i would think. or keep it in circles where it wouldn't come back to itself. but i guess in santa cruz, its way too small a town to do that. god, i don't know

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115408707000497102005-05-06T12:44:00.000-07:002005-05-06T12:45:07.006-07:00

p.s. tracks coveredreally should have done that a while ago. further proof that i'm a masochist.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115407755700392642005-05-06T12:27:00.000-07:002005-05-06T12:35:55.556-07:00

fuck you, i don't care what you think, why would you think i cared what you think? is that really going to solve anything, telling me, "hey i didn't like this"? if i had a nickle for every time i got called a bitch online... and dude, at least i'm doing it to this than anything that actually fucking effects your life.i can't even find that post...oh wait, found it, yeah, that was my bad. fixed. *

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1115114709264630422005-05-03T03:00:00.000-07:002005-05-03T03:05:09.263-07:00

diane lane plays a lot of characters i really relate to. like almost scary similarities. back when i watched unfaithful, tooootally me. watched under the tuscan sun this weekend, same thing. the journeys that her characters go thru were/are the same journeys i am/was going thru. granted the movies had resolutions that i don't see as quite happening to me. but still, odd, why diane lane?

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1114763987353980762005-04-29T01:07:00.000-07:002005-04-29T01:39:47.356-07:00

why do i seem to be attracted to the emotionally fucked up ones. why do i think that i would be able to actually fix anything. that maybe some special part of me could reach out and touch that needy part of them. moody depressed angry male, really should be in therapy, totally had his sensitive side crushed and doesn't seem to be in any huge hurry to really rebuild, doesn't seem to know what to

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1114674098334057602005-04-28T00:39:00.000-07:002005-04-28T00:41:38.336-07:00

some sn's have been changed to protect the innocentNeeliaBuzz: why am i amused by the "cli·to·ral /'kli-t&-r&l/ or cli·tor·ic /kli-'tor-ik," partJRB: That last one doesn't sound right...JRB: klitorik?JRB: Seriously? NeeliaBuzz: maybe cause its awfuly close to "choloricJRB: How are guys supposed to find it when we're too confused trying to pronounce it!JRB: Ew...NeeliaBuzz: lolJRB: You have a

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1114673810901927182005-04-28T00:28:00.000-07:002005-04-28T00:36:50.903-07:00

i think my reading of certain females livejournals is simply a strange form of masocism. i really shouldn't and i regret it immediately after i do but somehow i can't stop myself before it happens. its just a "i really shouldn't have done that..." sort of thing. ignorance is bliss. moving to canada would be fun.... get away from it all... i don't think you can outrun the concept of drama tho,

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1114591821988468202005-04-27T01:23:00.000-07:002005-04-27T01:50:21.990-07:00

holy shit, jacket boy is back from the dead.friend of mine apparently ran into him at some gig in san jose and they got to talking and with the whole santa cruz/theatre connection this friend had, apparently my name came up. less than 24 hours later, i receive an IM. *choir of angels sing*unfortunately, at that very moment, i was discovering that mike was not at home and that i really should have

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1114204018345706842005-04-22T13:47:00.000-07:002005-04-22T14:06:58.346-07:00

le crazy ringtones (well all of them really, but these are ones i would consider)hall of the mountain kingi dream of jeannielinus and lucymuppet show themepink panther themeseseme street themethey have a few hedwig ringtones, i find them incredibly bizzare

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1114110321116378602005-04-21T12:00:00.000-07:002005-04-21T12:05:21.116-07:00

if i lived alone, i don't think i'd ever wear clothes. and i'd probably live naked if i lived with a boyfriend. i was reminded of that the other day, sitting naked after sex, he was in a robe, but i was really enjoying that freedom. and you know, reveling in the endorphins.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113982307388179562005-04-20T00:05:00.000-07:002005-04-20T00:31:47.390-07:00

so it turns out we could have printed revised scripts last week... and that i need to have rough blocking by next week... and we need to run thru the show for our writer, who's final version is technically due this week... and tomorrows 4/20 and i don't want to get high and i have too much work to do, and i haven't done my therapy homework and i didnt cancel my appt for tomorrow and i wanted to

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113737498932666832005-04-17T04:28:00.000-07:002005-04-17T04:31:38.933-07:00

*sigh* people confuse me. but i probably confuse people too. bleh...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113646587121056842005-04-16T03:16:00.000-07:002005-04-16T03:16:27.123-07:00

i really don't feel like falling asleep alone tonight...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113383013447803252005-04-13T01:59:00.000-07:002005-04-13T02:03:33.446-07:00

the fucked up shit:i didn't get into 5th year. no idea if its because of me or because i was late in getting my transcript over there.i thought my phone was broken. for a while, it was refusing to ring, make noise, etc. when it was not in silent mode. so i order a phone. fuck, i'll finish this story later.i need to wake up tomorrow. so i need to set an alarm. and i need to make it an alarm that

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113293008352490202005-04-12T01:03:00.000-07:002005-04-12T01:03:28.353-07:00

note to self: don't take it personally

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113159597254113492005-04-10T11:48:00.000-07:002005-04-10T11:59:57.256-07:00

i found my bathing suit in the back of one of my drawers. i pass by it everyday when i get underwear, maybe its cause i'm almost out of underwear that i notice it now. it made me really sentimental for summer. i want to be wearing a swimsuit. i want to be wearing that swimsuit. its a very sexy suit, in a cute modest way, very 50's esq. i want to be wearing it for someone, showing it off, just

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113078630320868372005-04-09T13:26:00.000-07:002005-04-09T13:30:30.320-07:00

to do:write director conceptsend graduation slide show pictureswork on mapping out blocking schedulecall mike, get ari's info, arrange meetingbuy milk, bread, nutella (available at tj?), juice from tjread stuff for seminarsee shows

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1113026169586849762005-04-08T22:55:00.000-07:002005-04-08T22:56:09.586-07:00

gad damn, chautauqua boys are just dropping like flies...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112988583526907382005-04-08T12:25:00.000-07:002005-04-08T12:29:43.526-07:00

i need someone like younothing more, nothing lessthe way you are, what we seem to havethats all i needdon't think, just bethis. this is nice.and yet its not enough, or its too muchtoo much too soonhe's not readyi'm not difficult, i'm just crazy sometimesi think i need to treat myself to a burrito...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112780928611014762005-04-06T02:46:00.000-07:002005-04-06T02:48:48.613-07:00

aileen: i just had one more thought i wanted to share ethan: hm?ai: this fucking individualist societye: uh...huh...?ai: basically tonight i was in a position where i was basically bluntly asking for companionship and feeling incredibly scared and vulnerable and silly for doing thate: no need to feel sillyai: and i was thinking about that and just like how it is so ingrained in us, in me at least

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112687534412339402005-04-05T00:41:00.000-07:002005-04-05T00:52:14.413-07:00

I CAST A SHOW!!!! and i only had one meltdown, and it was fairly early in the night and it got worked out and i got the dude i wanted. and i feel icky for randomly casting this guy at the end of the night just cause i needed a boy, he didn't have the best audition, but on the way home i remember that i did ask him to flail about at auditions and he did it, so thats a good sign. and i ended up

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112652780449610092005-04-04T15:11:00.000-07:002005-04-04T15:13:00.450-07:00

me: norton makes my computer slow....roommate: norton keeps your computer from getting computer clammihdia

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112220510511795702005-03-30T13:53:00.000-08:002005-03-30T14:08:30.510-08:00

i'm dropping out of merrily and i'm going to direct "the invasion of the body surgeons" for chautauqua instead. *upset about merrily, but happy dance for directing!*

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112144874044751742005-03-29T17:04:00.000-08:002005-03-29T17:07:54.046-08:00

i slept late. i pissed off my "mysticism and life" teacher. i saw my ex. i saw from a distance another ex. i didn't get into studio 3. patty did sort of hint that i have a good chance of getting in the 5th year tho. le sigh

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112087552692100522005-03-29T01:00:00.000-08:002005-03-29T01:12:32.693-08:00

life tires me...and amazing how two weeks without therapy how much i regress into old habits. then again i don't think two weeks of seeing my little sister and how cute her boyfriend is, and then getting visited by my older sister and her telling me she's probably going to end up marrying this boyfriend she's living with... and me being single... and no real prospects... i'm not supposed to say

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1112078634332723412005-03-28T22:41:00.000-08:002005-03-28T22:43:54.333-08:00

and sounds of "the bachlor" staring chris conell or whoever that guy is float in from the living room...none of our leads knew their songs for our readthru of merrily this evening. they've had their parts for 3 months. at least listen to the cd people...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1111746258852252572005-03-25T02:23:00.000-08:002005-03-25T02:24:18.853-08:00

oh the humanity... facebook will now eat my soul...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1111566573400423792005-03-23T00:25:00.000-08:002005-03-23T00:29:33.400-08:00

i finally succumb... i join the facebook... and cruzmail is down so i cannot actually confirm my joining of faceboon.... is that irony? it doesn't feel quite like irony, but i want to say "oh the irony..."

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1111221489842647042005-03-19T00:34:00.000-08:002005-03-19T00:38:09.843-08:00

high school drama makes me want to stab my eyes out with my fingers.never, ever, ever, ever want to go back there...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110964000647169952005-03-16T01:05:00.000-08:002005-03-16T01:06:40.646-08:00

i really like this man's worki love it when i find out that a bunch of movies i randomly like turn out to be made by the same guy. where ever you are out there, keep up the good work, i'm looking forward to your next film.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110913076469852132005-03-15T10:42:00.000-08:002005-03-15T10:57:56.470-08:00

so yesterday i was walking home from safeway and i pass mcdonalds and get pulled over by these kids doing some fundraiser shit for college scholarships. anyway, they were so cute and so tenacious and adorable that i signed up for two, helped them out, got cool points. got some good shameless flirting in there. i should have created an alternate identity for them. "I'm 35, mother of two, my

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110911926392520282005-03-15T10:36:00.000-08:002005-03-15T10:38:46.393-08:00

oh, my random itunes makes me happy! i just went from south pacific, to david bowie, to bike by pink floyd. just some slight inflicted insanity thats all :)

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110878793090283322005-03-15T01:22:00.000-08:002005-03-15T01:26:33.090-08:00

(every time this song comes up when i'm listening to itunes randomly, it is significant. everytime it speaks to me. for incredibly different reasons each time, but it speaks to me, every, single, time...)SSSH! by Fleming and JohnYou had the prettiest blue-green eyes I'd ever seenAnd I got a kick out of the way they looked at me,Like I was a two-headed creature from another planetThat thrilled and

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110756734880095772005-03-13T15:31:00.000-08:002005-03-13T15:35:33.353-08:00

check out me and my bad self!

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110709649988761962005-03-13T01:28:00.000-08:002005-05-06T12:33:14.930-07:00

a sexy updatethursday night, saw buffy, presented don with a single rose, for being a great fight partner, and cause i'm a dork. he kissed the rose. and i kissed him laterit was really quite sweet, an end of the night thing, i decided i need to do this, so i did, and i was suprisingly not nervous about it. his response, "i can't actually do anything" probably cause he has a girlfriend or

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110664171773460112005-03-12T13:48:00.000-08:002005-03-13T01:53:23.773-08:00

NeeliaBuzz: guess whatJujuJosie: what?NeeliaBuzz: well couple things really, first i passed my stage combat test. i am officially recognized by the safd in having basic proficiency in unarmed combatJujuJosie: awesome!NeeliaBuzz: yup!NeeliaBuzz: i was bouncing off the wallsJujuJosie: congrats~NeeliaBuzz: thank you!NeeliaBuzz: i'll come show it off next weekJujuJosie: coolNeeliaBuzz: secondly, you

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110270764532072662005-03-08T00:06:00.000-08:002005-03-08T00:32:44.533-08:00

oh my god, my roommate has a girl over! and they're holding hands! it is the most adorable thing in the entire frikken world! and he is going to kill me for posting this. but its all i can do to restrain myself from going out there and pouncing on them and going AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! like i do to josie and nick all the time. and now i need to write a play! its been great i've totally

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110092600743922522005-03-05T22:53:00.000-08:002005-03-05T23:03:20.746-08:00

i just reorganized my buddy list. its very disorienting. i'll probably get used to it, but i'm rearranging names like theres a feng shui to it, which there sort of it. i've just gotten used to certain names being in certain places, and suddenly having all these names moved to the top of this list where previously pretty unnoticed names were, its a little disorienting. plus it suddenly makes who's

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1110020044935117112005-03-05T02:43:00.000-08:002005-03-05T02:54:04.936-08:00

my bruises are all green. and i still have no idea how i got this one in front of my hip. i wish i had a digital camera so i could take pictures of all of these, and then maybe sue some dude i hate and present them as evidence or something. that would be funny. except evil. i need to write a play

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109903344573004272005-03-03T18:16:00.000-08:002005-03-03T18:29:04.576-08:00

stage combat. today. the hair finally breaks free and flies everywhere. embarassment ensues.this morning, i showered, no product afterwards, had my hair tie around my wrist for a bit, when i was walking out the door didn't. couldn't find it in plain sight, grabbed clippy thing instead. so we get to stage combat and it becomes apparent to me in probably the first few minutes that this clip is not

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109834436300382092005-03-02T23:12:00.000-08:002005-03-02T23:46:35.403-08:00

i got a bra in the mail! its really cool too. i thought it was going to be just a white one but its like nude color with sort of a floral pattern, its really cute! and its got like lace at the top! oh man, i don't think i have any bras with lace at the top of the cups. this is awesome! this is the coolest free bra ever!and oh man, chili cheese fries and a strawberry milkshake... my stomach is

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109806056174074502005-03-02T15:26:00.000-08:002005-03-02T15:34:37.793-08:00

one of my favorite lines from merrily gets cut in the newer version. for posterity, i put them here.life is swingingskies are blue and bells are ringingeverday i wake up singing,"look at me i'm rich!and happy!"i'm so bruised right now. i spent most of yesterday in stage combat attempting to do this roll/prat fall. now the goal of these is to roll/place your fleshy parts on the floor. i have very

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109755509560779962005-03-02T00:06:00.000-08:002005-03-02T01:58:17.493-08:00

when it rains it fucking pours! and i'm not saying that cause its actually raining outside. 3 boys? 4 boys? and i'm somehow going to fuck it up so i am left with none and another dry spell, which i will try to make go away but be systamatically rejected and scare off other potentials and then when i'm not trying, another FIVE will show up all at once and i'll once again be in this "holy shit

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109739932647073312005-03-01T21:02:00.000-08:002005-03-01T21:05:32.646-08:00

I frikken love gilmore girls! last week, they bonded over FIDDLER! this week they got back together over judy garland singing the one that got away. i LOVE these writers! i love this show!

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109663778316954702005-02-28T23:50:00.000-08:002005-02-28T23:56:18.316-08:00

everyone: look at this coatthis is the most amazing fucking coat i have ever seen. i want it! so badly. so if anyone comes across it, buy it for me. in other news, i was called "vanilla" by a guy who is in my senior seminar and apparently really doesn't know me that well. i let him know there is a dark interior that i'm apparently pretty good at concealing. then we all went to goth night. that

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109550016236796282005-02-27T16:07:00.000-08:002005-02-27T16:20:16.236-08:00

so much naked!and OMG! HOT TWINS!

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109235431939677822005-02-23T23:18:00.000-08:002005-02-24T00:57:11.940-08:00

so round two of stump the tech guy ended up being a total annihilation on the part of the tech guy who completely gutted my computer, replacing the motherboard, processor, and virtual memory. and so far so good! i love having itunes! i love my library going random, and what pops up and how i go from austin powers soundtrack to damn yankees to the who. and i enjoy it all :) maybe i should get an

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109145454957266732005-02-22T23:40:00.000-08:002005-02-22T23:57:34.956-08:00

i hate how my hormones come at me all at once.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109078084693501972005-02-22T04:56:00.000-08:002005-02-22T05:14:44.693-08:00

k now i can't sleep...my mind is just kinda racing, won't shut up, one of those nights, its very frustrating. i really don't want to miss tomorrow. i've missed too many tuesdays. and i like tuesdays. i write a lot these days. and i mean "a lot" as compared to none before and 2 is a lot compared to none. i should write more. i wish i could get myself to write more even if i'm not inspired. or make

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1109066875491457462005-02-22T02:01:00.000-08:002005-02-22T02:07:55.493-08:00

i'm happy. i lit another show. a show that got pretty much thrown together in 3 days and it looks more than halfway decent. if we got another runthru, oh man we would be on fire. but we don't so its just gonna be pretty decent for something that got thrown together in 3 days. we got to use my spinny light again. i think i'm going to try to include that in every show i design. its going to be the

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1108935287391727432005-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:002005-02-20T13:34:47.390-08:00

i am so not digging this whole being awake thing. but i shouldn't go back to sleep. i've been asleep for the last 2.5 days, and my health has improved to just a cough, but my body is completely depressed and i'm still not healthy and i just feel crappy...i think i'm gonna wander around campus. i need to write a play. i need to read some plays.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1108886998029359232005-02-20T00:07:00.000-08:002005-02-20T00:09:58.030-08:00

damn it... why am i awake? i'm supposed to be comatose right now! gr..

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1108866072649485282005-02-19T18:20:00.000-08:002005-02-19T18:21:12.650-08:00

good lord, they weren't kidding around with this nyquil stuff...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1108808738249862562005-02-19T02:20:00.000-08:002005-02-19T02:25:38.250-08:00

and on the third day god (or james) brought aileen nyquil. and it was green and 10% alcohol. and it was nasty as hell, but she could see why people might abuse this stuff.

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1108774547607282152005-02-18T16:53:00.000-08:002005-02-18T16:55:47.606-08:00

of course the day i have off where i could make some calls, schedule a psychiatry appt, call j and maybe make for the weekend... is the day i have no voice. now granted i have had no reason to test and see if said voice is existant or not, so lets just call it a hunch right now. i wonder if i have bronchitis...

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2998191.post-1108691394960866132005-02-17T17:47:00.000-08:002005-02-17T17:49:54.963-08:00

lets give my computer a big hand for its victory in round one of "stump the tech support guy!" *cheers and music*

Quoth the Ravennoreply@blogger.com0